The Opening of the Floodgates
Well, it is time for a post about another miracle that happened that I haven’t written about yet. I woke up this morning and realized that I hadn’t written about it on my blog! So here goes.
For those who don’t know, David and I have always driven older vehicles since we have been married. During the time of the diagnosis of cancer, we were driving an older Ford pickup with over 300,000 miles on it. It was a club cab so we could get the kids in the back, but it was a workout going anywhere! We had been praying about a new vehicle but didn’t see that it was the time to get one. When we had to start going back and forth to Houston David’s parents loaned us their trusty little car.
On December 18, we got a call from a friend. They said that they would like to come over and drop a little something off. We assumed they were bringing food or something. What they dropped off were the keys to a 2003 Chevy Suburban with only 42,000 miles on it. Talk about shocked. Our friend said that the Lord wanted them to give it to us and it was ours.
The suburban is a big gift from God in itself. However, God had fun on this deal. The whole thing, down to the color, is exactly what we would have ordered if we could have custom ordered one. When we go shopping, it looks like we bought our double stroller to match the suburban. Our diaper bag matches our ride. When I wear my heavy winter coat, it looks like I got dressed to ride in it. And the features! All just what we would have wanted. Right down to the 6 cd changer.
Does any of that stuff amount to a hill of beans?! No. But God did Christmas His way. I believe He did it partly to show us how much He is in control and really knows just what we need and even want. I feel pretty took care of riding in my custom suburban. And the funny thing is that when I prayed about a vehicle I didn’t have a list. I did ask for a new vehicle. I even asked for a newer one. But I couldn’t have even come up with everything God did. There is no way that I could have gone figured out everything and had it all work out so that not only I really liked it but David did too. And he does. We both like it equally as well. (Although, David is cool with just a CD player, the 6 CD changer was for me!)
I should mention in here that God had done some stuff in me before giving us the ‘Burban, (Our pet name that came from Keilah’s mispronunciation), that had He not done I would not have seen how important it was.
I had to be willing to be content with whatever God provided for us to drive. If that meant driving an old Ford pickup into the ground and leaving it on the side of the road before getting a new vehicle, I had to be content with that provision. If contentment comes because circumstances change, I question if it is true contentment. I am not saying that it is wrong to be happy with new, good things or circumstances. But if your happiness depends on everything being perfectly adjusted, I would say that contentment has not been found. Was I always content driving a vehicle that was not dependable? Did I always just look at it as an adventure to see if we would get there or not? No. I wanted to do something and David felt that it wasn’t the time and that we should wait. I had to make a decision to be content in a circumstance that was not easy. I had to decide to enjoy the time I was in and submit joyfully to the Lord in it. Easy? No. But so worth it. Not because now I have a 2003 Chevy Suburban but because of the peace and joy in my heart that I had before we were given the Suburban.
So, if you are struggling with something in your life today, maybe a physical need, maybe not physical, let me encourage you to not worry about it. God is big, bigger than you think. He cares about your needs and knows what you need and want more than anyone on earth. Ask Him for your heart’s desire, but then let Him have the reigns, let Him surprise you with His provision. And be willing to give up control and choose to be content today in the middle of stuff that could or should be better but isn’t. There no better place to be.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Good morning! It is about 7:00 am and I am up and ready to go. Well, ready to write anyway.
I am home now and doing pretty good. I have had a pretty easy time with the treatment this time, which has been nice! I was tired yesterday some, but not totally drained like I have been. God has been so good.
We have so much to be thankful for. While we were in Houston the community held a fundraiser in my behalf and raised money to cover medical expenses, etc. It was unbelievable how many people came. They signed a little book and we were going over it when we got home. Many folks we knew but there were some we didn’t even know who they were.
I also thought you all might like to see our new family photo.
And here are the remains of David’s guns.
I’ll post more pictures later and write more later too.
I am home now and doing pretty good. I have had a pretty easy time with the treatment this time, which has been nice! I was tired yesterday some, but not totally drained like I have been. God has been so good.
We have so much to be thankful for. While we were in Houston the community held a fundraiser in my behalf and raised money to cover medical expenses, etc. It was unbelievable how many people came. They signed a little book and we were going over it when we got home. Many folks we knew but there were some we didn’t even know who they were.
I also thought you all might like to see our new family photo.
And here are the remains of David’s guns.
I’ll post more pictures later and write more later too.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Happy Anniversary!
Today is David's and mine anniversary. 5 years. Wow. It has been a really full 5 years. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. I have grown so much because of my marriage to David. I have experienced so much that I would not have had I not been married to him. I have been so happy, the happiest I have been in my whole life. We have been through a lot of hard times together. But through it all we have been together and I would never trade the times we have been through for anything. I love you David. Thank you for the best 5 years of my life and for being the special guy you are.
I am doing chemo right now. I started yesterday and will get unplugged tomorrow. I have had an easier time this round than the other times. As for my test results, things are looking very good. They said that there only a few places that still show up on the CT scan. All the lymph nodes have gone down a lot. After 2 more rounds of chemo they will do a PET scan to see if there is any activity that would indicate that more chemo needed to be done. But my doctor was really pleased with my progress. I am so thankful and am looking forward to being done with treatment.
I am doing chemo right now. I started yesterday and will get unplugged tomorrow. I have had an easier time this round than the other times. As for my test results, things are looking very good. They said that there only a few places that still show up on the CT scan. All the lymph nodes have gone down a lot. After 2 more rounds of chemo they will do a PET scan to see if there is any activity that would indicate that more chemo needed to be done. But my doctor was really pleased with my progress. I am so thankful and am looking forward to being done with treatment.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Tests And Such
Yesterday I had my CT scan. Yuck. But God was good in the middle of it. I didn't feel good because of the barium but God gave me many opportunities to talk to people around me. It was really fun actually.
In the morning I start my third round of chemo. I am not looking forward to it at all. But I know that God will be with me and that I will come through on the other side of this treatment.
I got a wig yesterday, too. It is a dark red and about jaw length. A lot different than I am used to but pretty cute really. I'll get David to take a picture so I can post it.
I don't really have a lot to write about tonight. I guess that is about it. Goodnight!
In the morning I start my third round of chemo. I am not looking forward to it at all. But I know that God will be with me and that I will come through on the other side of this treatment.
I got a wig yesterday, too. It is a dark red and about jaw length. A lot different than I am used to but pretty cute really. I'll get David to take a picture so I can post it.
I don't really have a lot to write about tonight. I guess that is about it. Goodnight!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
More Details...
Hello everyone! I am writing to you from my new laptop, and although I don’t show it I am very excited. (No one could tell from how I am bouncing around how excited I am. I hide it very well.) I am now a mobile writer and will be updating my blog more often. I have so much to write.
I don’t know just where to start on all this. So much has happened and I have learned so much. God has done so much in my life in the last few months. I guess I will just try to do a brief overview and give as many details as will fit.
The Worst I Could Imagine
I left you all hanging at MD Anderson during the week of testing. I’ll start from there.
As most of you know, I was looking for a treatment that did not include chemotherapy. We were hoping that MD Anderson would have something like that. They didn’t. They only offered the standard regimen of chemo and told me that nothing else would work. If I didn’t do chemo, I had 6-12 months to live. I could feel that I was getting worse. But I still felt that I wasn’t supposed to do chemo. I really asked the Lord about that while I was there. It was hard to deal with the doctors and would have been much easier to just do the chemo and trust God with it. When I was first diagnosed that was what I had peace about but then felt He said not to do it.
MD Anderson recommended looking immediately into whatever other treatment I was going to consider. So, October 31, 2005, the day we left MD Anderson, we decided to call the Burins clinic. We had heard about them before and their clinic was in Houston. They got us right in and so November 2, 2005, we went to talk with them. They have had very good success treating many types of cancer, combining conventional methods with other research. While we were there in the initial consultation, I felt like the “don’t do chemo” lifted. I was shocked. I had told friends that if God made it clear that it was His plan for me to do chemo then I would. But I didn’t foresee Him doing so at that point. After the doctor left for a minute I told David what had happened. He said that he had felt the same thing.
We did start treatment with the Burzinski clinic that day. They recommended doing their treatment along with chemo. They had research that showed that it helped the chemo to work better than without it. So, I took that treatment for a month while we decided where to do the chemotherapy along with it. We decided to do treatment at MD Anderson and went down there. We hoped that they would be willing to work with the other clinic. They weren’t. In fact they insisted that if I took treatment with them that we couldn’t do any other type of treatment while in treatment with them. No herbs, no high dose vitamin C, no teas, nothing. A multivitamin was the only form of that sort of thing they would allow me to be on. If I wouldn’t agree to that, then they would not treat me.
David and I took the weekend to think it over and pray about it. The worst part about it was that it seemed that God was leading us to do treatment with them anyway. I say it was the worst because all of a sudden God was calling me to walk down a path that was the worst path imaginable to me. I found that I was relying on the things that I was doing more than I had realized. I could trust God to take care of me, but when He called me to trust Him only and nothing else I started shaking in my boots. I had to come to the place that I would trust Him no matter what and would walk even the path that didn’t make sense to me. It was not an easy choice or road for me. I didn’t want to lay down my will on the issue, but as He led me through that “fire” I found a new freedom that I had never had. I was no longer afraid of the chemo when I laid down my fears and decided to follow Him.
I have done 2 rounds of chemo now and although it makes me feel horrible and so drained afterwards, God has been so good and big in the middle of this time. Each time He has shown me things and done things in my life that are so special and precious to me. I am just amazed at how during the worst time in my life God has been so big and good to me.
Also, I am seeing a healing take place in my body. I don't hurt all the time anymore and the tumors that I could feel in my neck are gone. My abdomen is not all swollen anymore and I am wearing size 8 jeans! :-) I am taking care of my kids again and have plenty of energy.
So, to sum up the above, I didn’t want to walk this path. I didn’t want to walk through this fire. But when I submitted to him and did, I found that it is where I wanted to be after all. The things that I have learned and where I am now in my walk with Him is where I wanted to be anyway. I just didn’t want to go through the fire to get here.
The Other FireThe other fire was more what you think of when you think of fire.
Jan 1, 2006 we started home from Houston. I had just had a round of chemotherapy and they had taken me off of it the day before. I was pretty drained really. While on the way home we got a call from our pastor. He was wondering if we had heard about our town being evacuated due to fire sweeping across the countryside. Also, the fire was or had been in the vicinity of our house. We had not heard and were shocked to hear it. David’s parents live close to us and we wondered about them. They didn’t answer their phone.
We drove until we made it to our pastor’s house. David dropped me and the kids off there and he and our pastor, along with another friend, left on the back roads to work their way in to our house.
What David found was shocking. It was all gone. The house, shop and greenhouse were totally gone. The fire had swept across and just burned it all. Our house is nothing but a pile of rubble. Only the metal skirting and anything that doesn’t burn is left.
As you can see from these pictures, there is nothing left. The top picture is our house and beyond the greenhouse. The bottom picture is the heap of metal that was David’s shop.
The miracle is that our new house survived. For those of you that don’t know, in 2004 we moved in a 3 bedroom house to fix up as we had time and money. We hadn’t done much as we have not had the money and then with me being sick and all we had no time and no money.
This picture shows how close the fire got to our house. You can see that the woods beyond the house are burned and that the grass under the trees close to the house is burned. All the way around the house there is not one bit of scorched grass. It is as if that house was in a bubble because the fire was all the way around it. Keilah says that God said, “No fire, you can’t burn our new house,” and he picked the fire up over the house and set it down on the other side. It sure looks that way when you look at the house.
The fire was so hot that it melted our cast iron in the other house. David and I went over one day and dug around in our rubble, looking to see if anything survived. We didn’t find much, nothing really. Then David found something that shocked us both. He found a porcelain cross that had hung on our bathroom wall. It was laying on a rock totally unharmed. It had the words, “This is the day that the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it.” David picked it up and read it and then he said, “Well, I guess we will.”
Needless to say, that cross is now one of our favorite possessions.
Something I learned in the fire is that God is always more than enough. If I am following Him and trusting Him even my house burning down and losing all my things will not devastate me. I know that I am in the palm of His hand and that nothing can move or shake me. It is an awesome feeling to know that I can not be moved or shaken by any circumstances around me.
I am headed down to MD Anderson tomorrow for CT scans and then chemo. Your prayers are much appreciated! I will try to update as I can.
I don’t know just where to start on all this. So much has happened and I have learned so much. God has done so much in my life in the last few months. I guess I will just try to do a brief overview and give as many details as will fit.
The Worst I Could Imagine
I left you all hanging at MD Anderson during the week of testing. I’ll start from there.
As most of you know, I was looking for a treatment that did not include chemotherapy. We were hoping that MD Anderson would have something like that. They didn’t. They only offered the standard regimen of chemo and told me that nothing else would work. If I didn’t do chemo, I had 6-12 months to live. I could feel that I was getting worse. But I still felt that I wasn’t supposed to do chemo. I really asked the Lord about that while I was there. It was hard to deal with the doctors and would have been much easier to just do the chemo and trust God with it. When I was first diagnosed that was what I had peace about but then felt He said not to do it.
MD Anderson recommended looking immediately into whatever other treatment I was going to consider. So, October 31, 2005, the day we left MD Anderson, we decided to call the Burins clinic. We had heard about them before and their clinic was in Houston. They got us right in and so November 2, 2005, we went to talk with them. They have had very good success treating many types of cancer, combining conventional methods with other research. While we were there in the initial consultation, I felt like the “don’t do chemo” lifted. I was shocked. I had told friends that if God made it clear that it was His plan for me to do chemo then I would. But I didn’t foresee Him doing so at that point. After the doctor left for a minute I told David what had happened. He said that he had felt the same thing.
We did start treatment with the Burzinski clinic that day. They recommended doing their treatment along with chemo. They had research that showed that it helped the chemo to work better than without it. So, I took that treatment for a month while we decided where to do the chemotherapy along with it. We decided to do treatment at MD Anderson and went down there. We hoped that they would be willing to work with the other clinic. They weren’t. In fact they insisted that if I took treatment with them that we couldn’t do any other type of treatment while in treatment with them. No herbs, no high dose vitamin C, no teas, nothing. A multivitamin was the only form of that sort of thing they would allow me to be on. If I wouldn’t agree to that, then they would not treat me.
David and I took the weekend to think it over and pray about it. The worst part about it was that it seemed that God was leading us to do treatment with them anyway. I say it was the worst because all of a sudden God was calling me to walk down a path that was the worst path imaginable to me. I found that I was relying on the things that I was doing more than I had realized. I could trust God to take care of me, but when He called me to trust Him only and nothing else I started shaking in my boots. I had to come to the place that I would trust Him no matter what and would walk even the path that didn’t make sense to me. It was not an easy choice or road for me. I didn’t want to lay down my will on the issue, but as He led me through that “fire” I found a new freedom that I had never had. I was no longer afraid of the chemo when I laid down my fears and decided to follow Him.
I have done 2 rounds of chemo now and although it makes me feel horrible and so drained afterwards, God has been so good and big in the middle of this time. Each time He has shown me things and done things in my life that are so special and precious to me. I am just amazed at how during the worst time in my life God has been so big and good to me.
Also, I am seeing a healing take place in my body. I don't hurt all the time anymore and the tumors that I could feel in my neck are gone. My abdomen is not all swollen anymore and I am wearing size 8 jeans! :-) I am taking care of my kids again and have plenty of energy.
So, to sum up the above, I didn’t want to walk this path. I didn’t want to walk through this fire. But when I submitted to him and did, I found that it is where I wanted to be after all. The things that I have learned and where I am now in my walk with Him is where I wanted to be anyway. I just didn’t want to go through the fire to get here.
The Other FireThe other fire was more what you think of when you think of fire.
Jan 1, 2006 we started home from Houston. I had just had a round of chemotherapy and they had taken me off of it the day before. I was pretty drained really. While on the way home we got a call from our pastor. He was wondering if we had heard about our town being evacuated due to fire sweeping across the countryside. Also, the fire was or had been in the vicinity of our house. We had not heard and were shocked to hear it. David’s parents live close to us and we wondered about them. They didn’t answer their phone.
We drove until we made it to our pastor’s house. David dropped me and the kids off there and he and our pastor, along with another friend, left on the back roads to work their way in to our house.
What David found was shocking. It was all gone. The house, shop and greenhouse were totally gone. The fire had swept across and just burned it all. Our house is nothing but a pile of rubble. Only the metal skirting and anything that doesn’t burn is left.
As you can see from these pictures, there is nothing left. The top picture is our house and beyond the greenhouse. The bottom picture is the heap of metal that was David’s shop.
The miracle is that our new house survived. For those of you that don’t know, in 2004 we moved in a 3 bedroom house to fix up as we had time and money. We hadn’t done much as we have not had the money and then with me being sick and all we had no time and no money.
This picture shows how close the fire got to our house. You can see that the woods beyond the house are burned and that the grass under the trees close to the house is burned. All the way around the house there is not one bit of scorched grass. It is as if that house was in a bubble because the fire was all the way around it. Keilah says that God said, “No fire, you can’t burn our new house,” and he picked the fire up over the house and set it down on the other side. It sure looks that way when you look at the house.
The fire was so hot that it melted our cast iron in the other house. David and I went over one day and dug around in our rubble, looking to see if anything survived. We didn’t find much, nothing really. Then David found something that shocked us both. He found a porcelain cross that had hung on our bathroom wall. It was laying on a rock totally unharmed. It had the words, “This is the day that the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it.” David picked it up and read it and then he said, “Well, I guess we will.”
Needless to say, that cross is now one of our favorite possessions.
Something I learned in the fire is that God is always more than enough. If I am following Him and trusting Him even my house burning down and losing all my things will not devastate me. I know that I am in the palm of His hand and that nothing can move or shake me. It is an awesome feeling to know that I can not be moved or shaken by any circumstances around me.
I am headed down to MD Anderson tomorrow for CT scans and then chemo. Your prayers are much appreciated! I will try to update as I can.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Hello, Hello, HELLO!!!
Okay, I saw you all just fall out of your chairs to see a post from me on here! Sorry for the long time gap of no news. I have been doing great, and quite honestly have had too much to write! God has been working so much and so much has been happening so fast. To briefly some it all up for you, although I will write it all more detail later, the cancer treatment has been going very well. God has shown up and shown His power. I am not able to even find the nodes that were swollen in my neck anymore and the large tumor on my groin is nearly gone. (That is so brief, I am sorry, I have limited time here)
The last exciting news is that our house burned down during the fires down here this week. It is totally gone. But God is big in the middle of that too. The new house that we were going to move into when we were able to fix it stood. It is not even singed around it. We are living with David's parents right now and will be working on our new house in the weeks to come. We did have insurance, another miracle, and so will have plenty of money to fix up the other house. Please be in prayer for the families around us. There were over 100 homes burned in our area.
I am sorry this is so brief, I feel mean posting such a short post, but I will post again in more detail soon. In the meantime, any of you that have my address, send me something or send me and email with your information. We were in Houston when the fire took place, so all I have is what I had with me.
I love you all! Know that God is hearing and answering your prayers in ways you could never even imagine!
The last exciting news is that our house burned down during the fires down here this week. It is totally gone. But God is big in the middle of that too. The new house that we were going to move into when we were able to fix it stood. It is not even singed around it. We are living with David's parents right now and will be working on our new house in the weeks to come. We did have insurance, another miracle, and so will have plenty of money to fix up the other house. Please be in prayer for the families around us. There were over 100 homes burned in our area.
I am sorry this is so brief, I feel mean posting such a short post, but I will post again in more detail soon. In the meantime, any of you that have my address, send me something or send me and email with your information. We were in Houston when the fire took place, so all I have is what I had with me.
I love you all! Know that God is hearing and answering your prayers in ways you could never even imagine!
Friday, December 09, 2005
**Okay, this is Nichola's sister, Priscilla, updating for her**
Nichola started Chemotherapy yesterday.
The treatment is making her pretty sick; David says she slept most of the day. When I talked to her she sounded pretty tired, too. They'll remain in Houston at least until Saturday which is when the first round of treatment will wrap up. If I understand correctly, she has at least six more treatments to go, one a month. Please keep her in your prayers. The chemo makes her immune system very vulnerable, which means she has to stay at home, away from any outside sources and the possibility of germs. Already tired from the illness, not having access to her friends and family is going to very rough on her.
She is keeping in very good spirits though, trusting God and knowing that he has her best interests in mind.
Thanks all.
~cil~
Nichola started Chemotherapy yesterday.
The treatment is making her pretty sick; David says she slept most of the day. When I talked to her she sounded pretty tired, too. They'll remain in Houston at least until Saturday which is when the first round of treatment will wrap up. If I understand correctly, she has at least six more treatments to go, one a month. Please keep her in your prayers. The chemo makes her immune system very vulnerable, which means she has to stay at home, away from any outside sources and the possibility of germs. Already tired from the illness, not having access to her friends and family is going to very rough on her.
She is keeping in very good spirits though, trusting God and knowing that he has her best interests in mind.
Thanks all.
~cil~
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Tests and fun stuff like that...
I am at MD Anderson right now. I just got done with a PET scan, and am going over to do a CT scan soon. I found a computer to use and thought I would update you all.
Galveston
We had a lot of fun in Galveston Tuesday. We went down on the beach and had a blast. There were shells everywhere and so we picked them up, or rather, as many as we could. :-) I found a hermit crab in one really pretty shell. I was so excited. I have never found one of those before. I showed it to David and the kids and then we turned him lose. It was so much fun.
Then we rode the ferry that runs between the island and part of the mainland, I think. We drove our car on and were looking out at the water, enjoying the seagulls following the ferry, when all of a sudden David spotted a dolphin. We couldn't believe it! They were everywhere. We even saw an oceanliner with one jumping off the front of the bow, just like you see in pictures. It was so awesome. We also saw jellyfish. I think the ones we saw were Man'O War, but I need to check to be sure.
We drove around a bit after we got across and found a Ft. with a playground and all for the kids. (I can't remeber the name of the Ft. :-/) Then we went back across on the ferry. We went to the seawall then and watched the sun go down.
Tests
Then Wednsday I came back in for more tests. I had a urine analysis, an EKG, and then bone marrow biopsy and aspiration on both sides of my hip. Not fun. But I made it and am just getting to whine when I get up and down now.
Today I had a PET scan done and am going to have the CT scan done at 1:00pm. I think here the drinks are flavored a bit better? That is the rumor. I hope so, and I hope I don't have to drink much. Prayer is requested for me right now!!! I will do my best but that is a hard thing to drink on an empty stomach. *sigh*
What I am learning
I am still learning a lot. One thing that I see right now is how divided the kingdom of God and the world is.
Oops, got to jump off! Will write more later!
Galveston
We had a lot of fun in Galveston Tuesday. We went down on the beach and had a blast. There were shells everywhere and so we picked them up, or rather, as many as we could. :-) I found a hermit crab in one really pretty shell. I was so excited. I have never found one of those before. I showed it to David and the kids and then we turned him lose. It was so much fun.
Then we rode the ferry that runs between the island and part of the mainland, I think. We drove our car on and were looking out at the water, enjoying the seagulls following the ferry, when all of a sudden David spotted a dolphin. We couldn't believe it! They were everywhere. We even saw an oceanliner with one jumping off the front of the bow, just like you see in pictures. It was so awesome. We also saw jellyfish. I think the ones we saw were Man'O War, but I need to check to be sure.
We drove around a bit after we got across and found a Ft. with a playground and all for the kids. (I can't remeber the name of the Ft. :-/) Then we went back across on the ferry. We went to the seawall then and watched the sun go down.
Tests
Then Wednsday I came back in for more tests. I had a urine analysis, an EKG, and then bone marrow biopsy and aspiration on both sides of my hip. Not fun. But I made it and am just getting to whine when I get up and down now.
Today I had a PET scan done and am going to have the CT scan done at 1:00pm. I think here the drinks are flavored a bit better? That is the rumor. I hope so, and I hope I don't have to drink much. Prayer is requested for me right now!!! I will do my best but that is a hard thing to drink on an empty stomach. *sigh*
What I am learning
I am still learning a lot. One thing that I see right now is how divided the kingdom of God and the world is.
Oops, got to jump off! Will write more later!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Here We Are
Wow.
Well, we made in down here. Sunday evening we made it to Houston and went by MD Anderson to see where I would be going. Wow. That is all I can say. There are sooo many buildings just to MD Anderson it is unbelievable. It is huge. I went in to find out where I would be the next day. A security guard helped me out. I asked him where I needed to be according to what they had told me on the phone. He decided to just take me up there, to the 8th floor. So, as we were walking along he asked me where I was from. I told him the area. Well, he knew where it was, he grew up about an hour or so away at Springtown. And his parents lived at Ranger for a while. It was hilarious really. Here I am in Houston and the guard knows the area I am from. :-)
I got registered and saw my doctor. (Read: Paperwork and waiting) I have a woman doctor, Dr. Fanelle. She ordered a bunch of tests and so I started doing all those. *Sigh* I have a bunch of holes in me now and know a lot more about some of the tests. I was there until 7:30 pm yesterday. Today I don't have anything scheduled but tomorrow I have a bone marrow asparation, on both sides of my hip. I am really not looking forward to that. Then Thursday I have a PET scan and a CT scan. Then that will be it until Mon when I will see my doctor again find out what all the tests showed and what they will recommend.
I have to admit, I had a bit of a hard time yesterday. At one point I was just hearing junk. I felt like a ship at sea with my anchor down but being tossed to and fro. I was hearing that this was the end, I had to go the way of chemo or there was no hope, blah, blah, blah. But the anchor held and while I was being tossed I could feel the pull, the stability of the line. God showed me so many things yesterday. And confirmed so many things.
I have to share one answer to prayer. As many of you know, we didn't qualify for Medicaid or anything. But when I got there for the registration part of things, they handed me a letter that was approval for 100% of the cost incurred to be covered. We will not get any bills. (I can hear some of you shouting!)
I did learn something about myself yesterday. I realized how even though I am passionate about certain issues, and my faith is one of those issues, I still have a tendency to bend and adjust just a bit so that I don't make people too uncomfortable. I realized this in the face of a somewhat hostile environment. It is okay to have faith as long as you don't have faith that there is any power outside the established norm. In other words, as long as you don't rock the boat and as long as you don't do anything different you can have whatever faith you want. But don't start talking about a faith that is bigger than science. Don't get too personal with that faith. I felt that pressure yesterday. I am done with it. I am not going to give into that pressure. I am going to be more radical than I have ever been in my life, and that is not just while I am at MD Anderson. (do I see some covering their heads? "You mean you weren't radical before?!")
Some of you have asked me to post how I would like you to pray for me. Well, keep praying for me to have strength and wisdom. And I would add to that boldness. Tomorrow I have the bone marrow asparation. That is going to be....well, not fun. And just pray for David and the kids too. They are doing well, but I think prayer has a lot to do with it and so keep praying!!!
Galveston
Today we are going to Galveston as soon as we can leave. Since we don't have anything scheduled today we are going to have fun. So we will see the ocean and play around. I guess I need to get ready to go!
I will try to write later!
Well, we made in down here. Sunday evening we made it to Houston and went by MD Anderson to see where I would be going. Wow. That is all I can say. There are sooo many buildings just to MD Anderson it is unbelievable. It is huge. I went in to find out where I would be the next day. A security guard helped me out. I asked him where I needed to be according to what they had told me on the phone. He decided to just take me up there, to the 8th floor. So, as we were walking along he asked me where I was from. I told him the area. Well, he knew where it was, he grew up about an hour or so away at Springtown. And his parents lived at Ranger for a while. It was hilarious really. Here I am in Houston and the guard knows the area I am from. :-)
I got registered and saw my doctor. (Read: Paperwork and waiting) I have a woman doctor, Dr. Fanelle. She ordered a bunch of tests and so I started doing all those. *Sigh* I have a bunch of holes in me now and know a lot more about some of the tests. I was there until 7:30 pm yesterday. Today I don't have anything scheduled but tomorrow I have a bone marrow asparation, on both sides of my hip. I am really not looking forward to that. Then Thursday I have a PET scan and a CT scan. Then that will be it until Mon when I will see my doctor again find out what all the tests showed and what they will recommend.
I have to admit, I had a bit of a hard time yesterday. At one point I was just hearing junk. I felt like a ship at sea with my anchor down but being tossed to and fro. I was hearing that this was the end, I had to go the way of chemo or there was no hope, blah, blah, blah. But the anchor held and while I was being tossed I could feel the pull, the stability of the line. God showed me so many things yesterday. And confirmed so many things.
I have to share one answer to prayer. As many of you know, we didn't qualify for Medicaid or anything. But when I got there for the registration part of things, they handed me a letter that was approval for 100% of the cost incurred to be covered. We will not get any bills. (I can hear some of you shouting!)
I did learn something about myself yesterday. I realized how even though I am passionate about certain issues, and my faith is one of those issues, I still have a tendency to bend and adjust just a bit so that I don't make people too uncomfortable. I realized this in the face of a somewhat hostile environment. It is okay to have faith as long as you don't have faith that there is any power outside the established norm. In other words, as long as you don't rock the boat and as long as you don't do anything different you can have whatever faith you want. But don't start talking about a faith that is bigger than science. Don't get too personal with that faith. I felt that pressure yesterday. I am done with it. I am not going to give into that pressure. I am going to be more radical than I have ever been in my life, and that is not just while I am at MD Anderson. (do I see some covering their heads? "You mean you weren't radical before?!")
Some of you have asked me to post how I would like you to pray for me. Well, keep praying for me to have strength and wisdom. And I would add to that boldness. Tomorrow I have the bone marrow asparation. That is going to be....well, not fun. And just pray for David and the kids too. They are doing well, but I think prayer has a lot to do with it and so keep praying!!!
Galveston
Today we are going to Galveston as soon as we can leave. Since we don't have anything scheduled today we are going to have fun. So we will see the ocean and play around. I guess I need to get ready to go!
I will try to write later!
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Ho, Boy!
I was reading a friend's blog in which she mentioned her son getting into trouble in the kitchen. I commented on her blog and thought I would post part of my comment here.
"My neighbor had been out a bit late, I think, the night before. Well, the boys woke up first and decided to pull one of their favorite stunts, turning their bed over. (It was not a small bed, I don't know how they did it.) They then proceeded to the bathroom and played with the toilet and put tissue in the tub or sink, I can't remember which, and left the bathroom with the water running. Then the little men went into the kitchen and commenced opening bottles in the fridge and tasting and dumping them out. From what I heard they made quite a mess, very quietly I might add. They then found the last bit of beer in a can on the coffee table and poured that into her cigarettes. Finally, their mom woke up and came to get them. The bedroom was demolished. As she came down the hall her feet touched the water that now covered the floor of the bathroom. She came unglued. She finally made it to the kitchen and found the kitchen floor smeared with ketchup, mustard, etc. As you can imagine, she was not a happy woman. She stormed and fussed and finally went for her cigarettes to try to calm down. Beer spilled out as she tipped the pack up to get one. It was too much. She just broke down and bawled then. It was just too many things in one blow. I know it was awful, but I laugh and laugh everytime I think of that story!"
If anyone reading has a good story like this to share I would love to hear it! Just leave me a comment.
"My neighbor had been out a bit late, I think, the night before. Well, the boys woke up first and decided to pull one of their favorite stunts, turning their bed over. (It was not a small bed, I don't know how they did it.) They then proceeded to the bathroom and played with the toilet and put tissue in the tub or sink, I can't remember which, and left the bathroom with the water running. Then the little men went into the kitchen and commenced opening bottles in the fridge and tasting and dumping them out. From what I heard they made quite a mess, very quietly I might add. They then found the last bit of beer in a can on the coffee table and poured that into her cigarettes. Finally, their mom woke up and came to get them. The bedroom was demolished. As she came down the hall her feet touched the water that now covered the floor of the bathroom. She came unglued. She finally made it to the kitchen and found the kitchen floor smeared with ketchup, mustard, etc. As you can imagine, she was not a happy woman. She stormed and fussed and finally went for her cigarettes to try to calm down. Beer spilled out as she tipped the pack up to get one. It was too much. She just broke down and bawled then. It was just too many things in one blow. I know it was awful, but I laugh and laugh everytime I think of that story!"
If anyone reading has a good story like this to share I would love to hear it! Just leave me a comment.
Houston Update
Well, MD Anderson called us and we have an appointment down in Houston Mon. morning. We will leave Sun. early to go down. We will be staying with my aunt and her husband for a few days and then will be in a motel.
We were going to leave the kids up here but we decided that 2 weeks was too long to leave them. So, we are taking them with us.
I am not looking forward to the testing and all. But I know that I will be okay. If they insist on pushing me around in a wheelchair I am going to really work on them for some wheelies. :-)
I am going to try to update a lot while I am there. I should have internet access.
I covet your prayers. 2 Cor 1:8-11 is a scripture that I feel that God has given me during this time.
"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.
But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.
Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.” 2 Cor. 1:8-11 NIV
Love you all!
We were going to leave the kids up here but we decided that 2 weeks was too long to leave them. So, we are taking them with us.
I am not looking forward to the testing and all. But I know that I will be okay. If they insist on pushing me around in a wheelchair I am going to really work on them for some wheelies. :-)
I am going to try to update a lot while I am there. I should have internet access.
I covet your prayers. 2 Cor 1:8-11 is a scripture that I feel that God has given me during this time.
"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.
But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.
Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.” 2 Cor. 1:8-11 NIV
Love you all!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Quick Update
Long time, no post!
Sorry everyone, I have been busy in so many other arenas lately that it will take a whole book to catch up on what has been going on here.
MD Anderson
Right now we are waiting to hear about the possibility of getting into MD Anderson. I have submitted the application for financial help and am now waiting for an appointment to go down there. But other than that not much is going on.
There has been a major change however in the course of treatment of this cancer. A few weeks ago I felt like the Lord put it in my heart to not do chemotherapy. So, I’m not doing it. I am looking at alternative treatments and am waiting to see what God has for me. Crazy as it may sound, I do have peace and am eager each day to see what God is going to show me and do.
Maaaa!
Also, we purchased some milk goats last week, 2 Alpine goats. Raw milk is something that is very good for me and so we now have a supply. :-) David has always known how to milk. He grew up on fresh cow’s milk. He had never milked a goat, however. Well, he quickly adjusted to the difference and has now taught me how to milk. I love it. I am still very slow, but he is patient and so is the goat I milk.:-)
As for the milk, I have always hated goat milk. Once in a Sunday school class my teacher served goat milk, I guess to give us a taste of what it was like to drink what Abraham drank. It was awful. But when the teacher asked if anyone wanted some more all the other kids threw such a fit about how nasty it was that I decided to take some more and drink it just for the effect of it. :-) (Ornery? Me?) However, I decided that if I could drink iodine I could drink goat milk. But this milk is so good. It doesn't have the goat taste that goat milk usually has. I like it even better than the raw cow's milk that we were getting from David's dad. So, I am enjoying fresh milk, milkshakes, eggnog, etc.
Since I am not going to write a book right now I guess that is it. :-) I will try to update more often though!
Sorry everyone, I have been busy in so many other arenas lately that it will take a whole book to catch up on what has been going on here.
MD Anderson
Right now we are waiting to hear about the possibility of getting into MD Anderson. I have submitted the application for financial help and am now waiting for an appointment to go down there. But other than that not much is going on.
There has been a major change however in the course of treatment of this cancer. A few weeks ago I felt like the Lord put it in my heart to not do chemotherapy. So, I’m not doing it. I am looking at alternative treatments and am waiting to see what God has for me. Crazy as it may sound, I do have peace and am eager each day to see what God is going to show me and do.
Maaaa!
Also, we purchased some milk goats last week, 2 Alpine goats. Raw milk is something that is very good for me and so we now have a supply. :-) David has always known how to milk. He grew up on fresh cow’s milk. He had never milked a goat, however. Well, he quickly adjusted to the difference and has now taught me how to milk. I love it. I am still very slow, but he is patient and so is the goat I milk.:-)
As for the milk, I have always hated goat milk. Once in a Sunday school class my teacher served goat milk, I guess to give us a taste of what it was like to drink what Abraham drank. It was awful. But when the teacher asked if anyone wanted some more all the other kids threw such a fit about how nasty it was that I decided to take some more and drink it just for the effect of it. :-) (Ornery? Me?) However, I decided that if I could drink iodine I could drink goat milk. But this milk is so good. It doesn't have the goat taste that goat milk usually has. I like it even better than the raw cow's milk that we were getting from David's dad. So, I am enjoying fresh milk, milkshakes, eggnog, etc.
Since I am not going to write a book right now I guess that is it. :-) I will try to update more often though!
Monday, October 03, 2005
Are Mormon's Christians?
I had an interesting discussion with my sister last night. She had some questions about Mormonism or rather, LDS Mormonism, which she had been told was different that other radical Mormonism. I decided to write a post on this.
LDS stands for Latter Day Saints. As far as I can tell, there is nothing different about regular Mormons and LDS Mormons.
I did a bit of research and found the following website. http://www.contenderministries.org/mormonism.php
This seemed to be a very good resouce in understanding Mormonism. The writer on this site is very clear and easy to understand, but does not have a nasty attitude about Mormons.
So, what do they believe? If you talk to a lot of them, they really don't know. Not because they haven't studied enough but because they have not been told yet. Here is a good page to read about what they believe that is different from Christianity. This shows plainly why there is nothing in Mormonism that is really even close to being the same as what Christians believe. http://www.contenderministries.org/mormonism/missionaries.php
But, as my sister asked, don't they believe in the same God as us? They talk about God and Jesus and even Jesus being their salvation. Talking with her last night I couldn't remember everything that I had learned before about this. Here is some very plain information as to why they are not talking about the same Jesus and God and why they are not Christians.
"In short, Mormons worship a Jesus who they claim was a polygamist and the spirit-brother of Satan. They believe in a Jesus who was not always god and whose blood does not cover all sins. The Jesus of the Mormon Church is not the Jesus of the Bible."
Follow this link to see more info on this.
http://www.contenderministries.org/mormonism/godchrist.php
LDS stands for Latter Day Saints. As far as I can tell, there is nothing different about regular Mormons and LDS Mormons.
I did a bit of research and found the following website. http://www.contenderministries.org/mormonism.php
This seemed to be a very good resouce in understanding Mormonism. The writer on this site is very clear and easy to understand, but does not have a nasty attitude about Mormons.
So, what do they believe? If you talk to a lot of them, they really don't know. Not because they haven't studied enough but because they have not been told yet. Here is a good page to read about what they believe that is different from Christianity. This shows plainly why there is nothing in Mormonism that is really even close to being the same as what Christians believe. http://www.contenderministries.org/mormonism/missionaries.php
But, as my sister asked, don't they believe in the same God as us? They talk about God and Jesus and even Jesus being their salvation. Talking with her last night I couldn't remember everything that I had learned before about this. Here is some very plain information as to why they are not talking about the same Jesus and God and why they are not Christians.
"In short, Mormons worship a Jesus who they claim was a polygamist and the spirit-brother of Satan. They believe in a Jesus who was not always god and whose blood does not cover all sins. The Jesus of the Mormon Church is not the Jesus of the Bible."
Follow this link to see more info on this.
http://www.contenderministries.org/mormonism/godchrist.php
Friday, September 30, 2005
Revelation # 2 (Finally!)
Revelation # 2
It has taken a while for me to write about this but here at last is the other big thing God ministered to me when I was first told the doctors thought that I had lymphoma.
I had a hard time that first day thinking about what my family and friends were going to go through when they heard about this. I knew that it would be hard on them and I didn’t want to see that. I was starting to stress about what they were going to have to deal with.
God helped me out. He reminded me of how I believe that He got me through rough stuff in my life. And how that I know that He used the trials and all to strengthen me, grow me and enlarge my vision. That was easy for me to acknowledge. I know that He has done all that and that I am who I am today because of His love and grace getting me through each obstacle.
Then He asked me the question, how could I believe that He was big enough to work in my life and take care of me in the rough times but not trust Him to take care of the ones I love in the tough times? How could I look at the stuff in others lives and think that they would be better off if it wasn’t taking place? How can I think that God is not using things in their lives to strengthen and grow them? Would I stop the work of God in their lives?
These were very big questions. As I pondered what He was showing me in asking those questions, I realized how carnal and earthly my mindset had been. Basically it boiled down to that I wanted to be in control. I wanted to control the things that others had to deal with. I wanted to be in God’s position.
I repented and let it go. I do not want to see hard things come into the life of my children, family and friends. But I have to let God be God and let Him work in their lives the way that He sees fit. He is working in their lives, just as He is in mine. He has good plans for them and I can trust that He is taking care of them and let Him do His job. :-)
It has been amazing the difference that letting Him have it has made in my life. I am not worried about it any more. I know that He has a plan and a purpose and is going to work it out in a powerful way.
It has taken a while for me to write about this but here at last is the other big thing God ministered to me when I was first told the doctors thought that I had lymphoma.
I had a hard time that first day thinking about what my family and friends were going to go through when they heard about this. I knew that it would be hard on them and I didn’t want to see that. I was starting to stress about what they were going to have to deal with.
God helped me out. He reminded me of how I believe that He got me through rough stuff in my life. And how that I know that He used the trials and all to strengthen me, grow me and enlarge my vision. That was easy for me to acknowledge. I know that He has done all that and that I am who I am today because of His love and grace getting me through each obstacle.
Then He asked me the question, how could I believe that He was big enough to work in my life and take care of me in the rough times but not trust Him to take care of the ones I love in the tough times? How could I look at the stuff in others lives and think that they would be better off if it wasn’t taking place? How can I think that God is not using things in their lives to strengthen and grow them? Would I stop the work of God in their lives?
These were very big questions. As I pondered what He was showing me in asking those questions, I realized how carnal and earthly my mindset had been. Basically it boiled down to that I wanted to be in control. I wanted to control the things that others had to deal with. I wanted to be in God’s position.
I repented and let it go. I do not want to see hard things come into the life of my children, family and friends. But I have to let God be God and let Him work in their lives the way that He sees fit. He is working in their lives, just as He is in mine. He has good plans for them and I can trust that He is taking care of them and let Him do His job. :-)
It has been amazing the difference that letting Him have it has made in my life. I am not worried about it any more. I know that He has a plan and a purpose and is going to work it out in a powerful way.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
No Wheelies
I'm home!
We had a good trip to Oregon/Washington. We had to come back sooner than planned, but had a good time anyway. I felt so good while up there. I had so much energy while I was up there it was amazing! God is really doing something in my body; I was going up and down stairs and even sprinted a few times with no problem. 3 weeks ago that was a total impossibility. It feels so good to be more myself.
I did have to stay in the hospital for 2 days when we got back. Not because I was sick or anything but because I had to have some tests run and a medi-port put in.
It was really funny. I walked into the hospital and checked in. Then the lady at the desk says, “Okay, hold on just a second and I’ll get you a chair and take you upstairs.” She meant a wheelchair! I said that I could walk, no problem. “I’m sure you could but I have to take you up”
So, incredulous, I sat down and off we went. It was downright hilarious. I couldn’t help but ask her if I should look really sad and sick as we passed people. I also wondered about wheelies. She wasn’t allowed to do that. *Sigh*
She took me to my room and there was a nurse getting my bed ready. The girl pushing me got me as close to the bed as possible. I asked if they were going to lift me onto the bed too. Fortunately, they didn’t have to do that. :-)
I got changed into the official hospital garb. A really stylish, high fashion outfit. :-) Pretty soon another wheelchair came for me, this time pushed by a young black guy. I was just getting situated and another chair showed up! (I was supposed to have two tests from two different departments done and they both sent for me at the same time.) They worked it out and off I went with the first guy. I thought it was worth asking him about wheelies. Same answer, although, I think if I had really worked on him he might have done a little one.
He took me to have my sonogram done on my kidney. My CT scan had showed that my right kidney was swollen because a lymph node was swollen and pushing on the tube that goes from my kidney to my bladder. The concern was that it might get shut off completely. So, my doctor ordered a sonogram to see what needed to be done. He was thinking maybe a stint should be put in or something like that.
So I had that done and then was wheeled off to have an echocardiogram. (Which for those who don’t know is simply a sonogram of the heart.) The girl asked me if I thought I could walk into the room. Could I walk? I jumped out of the chair so fast I think she kind of shocked. Jokingly I told her that I could race her down the hall and win. It was obviously not the normal response from a patient!
The guy that pushed me back to my room wouldn't do a wheelie either.But I think he would have been even easier to get to do one. He asked me if I minded going by the front part of the hospital, it would be a faster route to get back to my room. I didn’t mind, if he didn’t mind me slobbering and acting crazy. He didn’t, but I am not a good actress and couldn’t do it! :-)
My doctor came in the next day and told us the results of those two tests. The echocardiogram was normal, as expected. And as for the sonogram of my kidney, it was normal! The doctor said that it was probably an overreaction by the radiology doctors. I disagreed. I asked my doctor if he had seen my CT scan. He hadn’t, he was just going on the printed results of it. I saw my CT scan and I could see the right kidney was swollen. I told my doctor that I had seen it and with my untrained eye I could see the swelling. I told the doctor that I had gotten better, and he said it appeared so. I know so. I know God healed me. Lymph nodes were swollen, pushing on that tube. The only explanation is that the nodes went down.
I am really very excited. The lymph nodes in my neck that were big have gone down a lot. I can still feel them but can’t see them. And the ones in my groin have gone down a bit too. I know that God is doing something big. I know that He is healing me. Thank you all for your prayers. Keep praying and expect a miracle.
We had a good trip to Oregon/Washington. We had to come back sooner than planned, but had a good time anyway. I felt so good while up there. I had so much energy while I was up there it was amazing! God is really doing something in my body; I was going up and down stairs and even sprinted a few times with no problem. 3 weeks ago that was a total impossibility. It feels so good to be more myself.
I did have to stay in the hospital for 2 days when we got back. Not because I was sick or anything but because I had to have some tests run and a medi-port put in.
It was really funny. I walked into the hospital and checked in. Then the lady at the desk says, “Okay, hold on just a second and I’ll get you a chair and take you upstairs.” She meant a wheelchair! I said that I could walk, no problem. “I’m sure you could but I have to take you up”
So, incredulous, I sat down and off we went. It was downright hilarious. I couldn’t help but ask her if I should look really sad and sick as we passed people. I also wondered about wheelies. She wasn’t allowed to do that. *Sigh*
She took me to my room and there was a nurse getting my bed ready. The girl pushing me got me as close to the bed as possible. I asked if they were going to lift me onto the bed too. Fortunately, they didn’t have to do that. :-)
I got changed into the official hospital garb. A really stylish, high fashion outfit. :-) Pretty soon another wheelchair came for me, this time pushed by a young black guy. I was just getting situated and another chair showed up! (I was supposed to have two tests from two different departments done and they both sent for me at the same time.) They worked it out and off I went with the first guy. I thought it was worth asking him about wheelies. Same answer, although, I think if I had really worked on him he might have done a little one.
He took me to have my sonogram done on my kidney. My CT scan had showed that my right kidney was swollen because a lymph node was swollen and pushing on the tube that goes from my kidney to my bladder. The concern was that it might get shut off completely. So, my doctor ordered a sonogram to see what needed to be done. He was thinking maybe a stint should be put in or something like that.
So I had that done and then was wheeled off to have an echocardiogram. (Which for those who don’t know is simply a sonogram of the heart.) The girl asked me if I thought I could walk into the room. Could I walk? I jumped out of the chair so fast I think she kind of shocked. Jokingly I told her that I could race her down the hall and win. It was obviously not the normal response from a patient!
The guy that pushed me back to my room wouldn't do a wheelie either.But I think he would have been even easier to get to do one. He asked me if I minded going by the front part of the hospital, it would be a faster route to get back to my room. I didn’t mind, if he didn’t mind me slobbering and acting crazy. He didn’t, but I am not a good actress and couldn’t do it! :-)
My doctor came in the next day and told us the results of those two tests. The echocardiogram was normal, as expected. And as for the sonogram of my kidney, it was normal! The doctor said that it was probably an overreaction by the radiology doctors. I disagreed. I asked my doctor if he had seen my CT scan. He hadn’t, he was just going on the printed results of it. I saw my CT scan and I could see the right kidney was swollen. I told my doctor that I had seen it and with my untrained eye I could see the swelling. I told the doctor that I had gotten better, and he said it appeared so. I know so. I know God healed me. Lymph nodes were swollen, pushing on that tube. The only explanation is that the nodes went down.
I am really very excited. The lymph nodes in my neck that were big have gone down a lot. I can still feel them but can’t see them. And the ones in my groin have gone down a bit too. I know that God is doing something big. I know that He is healing me. Thank you all for your prayers. Keep praying and expect a miracle.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity, Jig...
Home
We flew home last night and I have a doctor's appointment at 2 pm in Abilene today. Yeah, no fun but then again, no big deal. I'm not worried about it. I think David's sister is going to go with us also.
Be praying for us. We have many descions to make in a short amount of time. I don't have time to go into everything right now. Please just be praying for us. :-) I'll get to more details soon and Revelation #2.
Gotta get ready to go!
We flew home last night and I have a doctor's appointment at 2 pm in Abilene today. Yeah, no fun but then again, no big deal. I'm not worried about it. I think David's sister is going to go with us also.
Be praying for us. We have many descions to make in a short amount of time. I don't have time to go into everything right now. Please just be praying for us. :-) I'll get to more details soon and Revelation #2.
Gotta get ready to go!
Friday, September 16, 2005
Hello From Oregon!
Hello everyone! Yes, I am on vacation, but couldn't resist posting, in fact, I ask you all to continue to keep me in your prayers.
We found out what the biopsy results were and therfore know more about what kind of cancer we are dealing with.
Anaplastic lymphoma is what I am fighting. It is a high grade, aggressive non-Hodgkins lymphoma. From what I understand it responds well to treatment. It is in stage 3, which is pretty advanced.
Be in prayer for us, we may need to cut our vacation short to get back and start treatments soon. We will find out Monday if we need to do that. I am not ready to go home, but it is in God's hands.
On another note, we have had so much fun so far. Being back in the Northwest has been great. I am loving getting to see the mountians and all the evergreens. I still don't want to live here, but am glad that I am getting to visit.
We are at David's cousin's right now. I am posting from their computer, on broadband. Yeah, I could get really jealous. :-) It is fun.
We found out what the biopsy results were and therfore know more about what kind of cancer we are dealing with.
Anaplastic lymphoma is what I am fighting. It is a high grade, aggressive non-Hodgkins lymphoma. From what I understand it responds well to treatment. It is in stage 3, which is pretty advanced.
Be in prayer for us, we may need to cut our vacation short to get back and start treatments soon. We will find out Monday if we need to do that. I am not ready to go home, but it is in God's hands.
On another note, we have had so much fun so far. Being back in the Northwest has been great. I am loving getting to see the mountians and all the evergreens. I still don't want to live here, but am glad that I am getting to visit.
We are at David's cousin's right now. I am posting from their computer, on broadband. Yeah, I could get really jealous. :-) It is fun.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Revelation # 1
I want to write about what God has shown me during this time about healing. There are two major things He has shown me and helped me with since I was told that I might have lymphoma and I would like to share them here.
When I first started dealing with the swollen lymph nodes in my leg, I had the thought that God might show me something about healing in this. The longer I had the problem the more I thought that. In fact, around the time of my first CT scan I told David that I felt that God was going to fix my mindset and perspective on healing. I just had a strong sense of that. Sure enough, that was His plan.
I grew up under some of the word of faith teachings. While I believe that God does honor His word and there are great and precious promises in His word, I saw an abuse of the word and a mindset that was dangerous. In the teaching on healing, I had seen teaching that said that if you claim scriptures, have faith, get rid of sin and hang onto your healing that you will be healed. These teachings are found in scripture. But the problem I had was seeing this applied in a way that said that God HAD to perform just how we prayed if you did everything right. And what about the people that we prayed for that didn’t get healed?
What I had seen was a twisting of God’s word, a ditch, if you will. And also fears of praying God’s will in a situation, doing so was really anti-faith. When you try to figure out what God’s will is and then hold Him to it, there are bound to be times that you don’t quite see the whole plan. When God does something else it can lead to major frustration and even turning on God. I have seen this in my family and others.
Especially after I got married, God started showing me how faulty my view of Him was. This teaching fell into the category of the wrong view of God, who He is, what He does and how He operates. I didn’t give up on healing. I knew that was true.
I did have a hard time with knowing what to do and what to think about healing and praying for healing. I didn’t want to get back into that ditch. And many times praying scriptures for healing seemed like getting into that ditch.
It was right after the doctor told us that they were suspecting a lymphoma that God blew the top off of this festering issue and showed me His truth. It is so simple I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.
What He showed me was that I have been looking at the issue of healing through tunnel vision. Looking through just a small hole and therefore seeing only part of the picture it was hard to see what God’s truth on healing was. When I saw the full picture, I was amazed and in awe of His truth.
This is what He showed me. God does heal us. Here on earth we can pray, lay hands on the sick, believe and pray His word concerning healing. He will heal us. But we can’t limit the time frame in which we allow God to work. His promises are clear, He will and does heal us spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. But is He limited to only healing here on earth? I think what we have done is put God’s healing into separate categories. We separate healing into the here on earth healing and then the healing we get when we die. What I saw was that it is not separate things. If He heals us here or in heaven it is still healing. There is not a huge difference. This is so simple but yet so mind boggling to me.
Suddenly, I was free. Free to boldly say that God is going to heal me. Free to pray and believe His promises. I know He will perform His word. I will be healed and healthy, whether here or there.
I am so excited about this that suddenly I am not worried about whether or not I have some lymphoma or not. It doesn’t matter. I know that I am healed and I am now in a place of understanding that I was not in before. It sounds crazy but I am just not worried about it. There are things I don’t know. I don’t know what God’s plan is. I don’t know if He is going to heal me this side of heaven or that side. But it really doesn’t matter! He will do just what He said He would do, and I can rest in His plan for me. It is going to be good. He is a good God and my good Father. I can trust Him. I am asking Him to heal me and believing that I am. Now I know that I am not in a ditch. I am resting in His plan and purpose for me.
When I first started dealing with the swollen lymph nodes in my leg, I had the thought that God might show me something about healing in this. The longer I had the problem the more I thought that. In fact, around the time of my first CT scan I told David that I felt that God was going to fix my mindset and perspective on healing. I just had a strong sense of that. Sure enough, that was His plan.
I grew up under some of the word of faith teachings. While I believe that God does honor His word and there are great and precious promises in His word, I saw an abuse of the word and a mindset that was dangerous. In the teaching on healing, I had seen teaching that said that if you claim scriptures, have faith, get rid of sin and hang onto your healing that you will be healed. These teachings are found in scripture. But the problem I had was seeing this applied in a way that said that God HAD to perform just how we prayed if you did everything right. And what about the people that we prayed for that didn’t get healed?
What I had seen was a twisting of God’s word, a ditch, if you will. And also fears of praying God’s will in a situation, doing so was really anti-faith. When you try to figure out what God’s will is and then hold Him to it, there are bound to be times that you don’t quite see the whole plan. When God does something else it can lead to major frustration and even turning on God. I have seen this in my family and others.
Especially after I got married, God started showing me how faulty my view of Him was. This teaching fell into the category of the wrong view of God, who He is, what He does and how He operates. I didn’t give up on healing. I knew that was true.
I did have a hard time with knowing what to do and what to think about healing and praying for healing. I didn’t want to get back into that ditch. And many times praying scriptures for healing seemed like getting into that ditch.
It was right after the doctor told us that they were suspecting a lymphoma that God blew the top off of this festering issue and showed me His truth. It is so simple I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.
What He showed me was that I have been looking at the issue of healing through tunnel vision. Looking through just a small hole and therefore seeing only part of the picture it was hard to see what God’s truth on healing was. When I saw the full picture, I was amazed and in awe of His truth.
This is what He showed me. God does heal us. Here on earth we can pray, lay hands on the sick, believe and pray His word concerning healing. He will heal us. But we can’t limit the time frame in which we allow God to work. His promises are clear, He will and does heal us spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. But is He limited to only healing here on earth? I think what we have done is put God’s healing into separate categories. We separate healing into the here on earth healing and then the healing we get when we die. What I saw was that it is not separate things. If He heals us here or in heaven it is still healing. There is not a huge difference. This is so simple but yet so mind boggling to me.
Suddenly, I was free. Free to boldly say that God is going to heal me. Free to pray and believe His promises. I know He will perform His word. I will be healed and healthy, whether here or there.
I am so excited about this that suddenly I am not worried about whether or not I have some lymphoma or not. It doesn’t matter. I know that I am healed and I am now in a place of understanding that I was not in before. It sounds crazy but I am just not worried about it. There are things I don’t know. I don’t know what God’s plan is. I don’t know if He is going to heal me this side of heaven or that side. But it really doesn’t matter! He will do just what He said He would do, and I can rest in His plan for me. It is going to be good. He is a good God and my good Father. I can trust Him. I am asking Him to heal me and believing that I am. Now I know that I am not in a ditch. I am resting in His plan and purpose for me.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
If You Are Reading...
I am curious. If you are reading my blog or you just happen to be reading it, would you leave me a comment and just tell me you are reading? I am just curious if people are reading. I get a few comments sometimes but it is hard to tell how many, if any are reading.
So, leave a comment!
So, leave a comment!
Bloody Thumb
I was talking to David about doctors or something and he told me the following hilarious story.
One of his aunt's sisters was a hysterical type and was really hysterical when one of her kids would get hurt. One day her son injured his thumb some way and it was bleeding. She hit the panic button. She wrapped his thumb, threw him in the car and rushed to the emergency room. Finally, the doctor came in. The mother told him what had happened and how awful it was, etc. Slowly and carefully the doctor unwrapped the bandage, which was obviously bloody. He finally got down to the injured thumb. Carefully he exaimined it but could find nothing wrong with it. "This thumb is not hurt at all," he said. The mother was still in a state of hysterics and didn't believe him. The little boy said, "No, this one is," and held up the other thumb. On the was to the hospital he had unwrapped the injured thumb and rewrapped the other one. The doctor was not impressed with either of the two. The wound was really pretty minor anyway.
I bet that doctor never forgot that though. Carefully unwrapping a bloody bandage only to find a perfectly well limb underneath! :-)
One of his aunt's sisters was a hysterical type and was really hysterical when one of her kids would get hurt. One day her son injured his thumb some way and it was bleeding. She hit the panic button. She wrapped his thumb, threw him in the car and rushed to the emergency room. Finally, the doctor came in. The mother told him what had happened and how awful it was, etc. Slowly and carefully the doctor unwrapped the bandage, which was obviously bloody. He finally got down to the injured thumb. Carefully he exaimined it but could find nothing wrong with it. "This thumb is not hurt at all," he said. The mother was still in a state of hysterics and didn't believe him. The little boy said, "No, this one is," and held up the other thumb. On the was to the hospital he had unwrapped the injured thumb and rewrapped the other one. The doctor was not impressed with either of the two. The wound was really pretty minor anyway.
I bet that doctor never forgot that though. Carefully unwrapping a bloody bandage only to find a perfectly well limb underneath! :-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)