Sunday, January 16, 2011

Thoughts From My Pregnancy

This post was written Jan 6, 2011, but I scheduled it to post at a later date, after the baby was born. Rayna Yael was born Jan 13, 2011.

The question on the minds of all around me right now, and understandably so, is, have you had the baby yet? Or, haven't you had that baby yet? It has been on my mind a bit as well. =D Esp since earlier this week it looked like I might go into labor, and then it all went away. And then it looked like I might again, and all went away. And so on. I have been in and out of labor mode a few times this week. A bit like lining up to the starting line, ready for the race, and just before the gun goes off, the whole thing is called off. Leaves you feeling a bit like, "Now what?" And then we line up again... And again....

I have never really dealt with this in my earlier pregnancies and hadn't "prepped" myself for this. But I have been learning a few things that I want to record here. If anything I am going through/learning in this time is helpful to anyone reading, then that is great, too. =)

As I was telling a friend, I am having to just rest in God's timing right now. Or rather, fighting to rest. Sounds like a contradiction, but it has been a constant striving to wrestle my emotions down on the mat and hold them there 'til they submit to the facts: I am resting in the Lord's timing and plan. End of story. This battle has sometimes had to take place several times a day, and I have lost count of how many times I have won and then had to rejoin the fight to rest and trust in the last week. =)

As happens often with this type of battle, I have not been without the encouragement of the Lord. If I had gone into labor on two of the occasions that I thought I was going to, it would not have been good timing. There are two babies that are happy with their mommies right now, and if I had gone into labor my midwife would have either missed my birth or theirs. God knew. =) And His encouragement to me to rest in Him and His timetable was right on.

This is not an easy time for me right now, but I am thankful for it. I am looking forward to taking from the trenches of this battle the lessons that God is teaching me and using them to make other battles easier, or at least helping me to see them differently.
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