I want to write about what God has shown me during this time about healing. There are two major things He has shown me and helped me with since I was told that I might have lymphoma and I would like to share them here.
When I first started dealing with the swollen lymph nodes in my leg, I had the thought that God might show me something about healing in this. The longer I had the problem the more I thought that. In fact, around the time of my first CT scan I told David that I felt that God was going to fix my mindset and perspective on healing. I just had a strong sense of that. Sure enough, that was His plan.
I grew up under some of the word of faith teachings. While I believe that God does honor His word and there are great and precious promises in His word, I saw an abuse of the word and a mindset that was dangerous. In the teaching on healing, I had seen teaching that said that if you claim scriptures, have faith, get rid of sin and hang onto your healing that you will be healed. These teachings are found in scripture. But the problem I had was seeing this applied in a way that said that God HAD to perform just how we prayed if you did everything right. And what about the people that we prayed for that didn’t get healed?
What I had seen was a twisting of God’s word, a ditch, if you will. And also fears of praying God’s will in a situation, doing so was really anti-faith. When you try to figure out what God’s will is and then hold Him to it, there are bound to be times that you don’t quite see the whole plan. When God does something else it can lead to major frustration and even turning on God. I have seen this in my family and others.
Especially after I got married, God started showing me how faulty my view of Him was. This teaching fell into the category of the wrong view of God, who He is, what He does and how He operates. I didn’t give up on healing. I knew that was true.
I did have a hard time with knowing what to do and what to think about healing and praying for healing. I didn’t want to get back into that ditch. And many times praying scriptures for healing seemed like getting into that ditch.
It was right after the doctor told us that they were suspecting a lymphoma that God blew the top off of this festering issue and showed me His truth. It is so simple I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.
What He showed me was that I have been looking at the issue of healing through tunnel vision. Looking through just a small hole and therefore seeing only part of the picture it was hard to see what God’s truth on healing was. When I saw the full picture, I was amazed and in awe of His truth.
This is what He showed me. God does heal us. Here on earth we can pray, lay hands on the sick, believe and pray His word concerning healing. He will heal us. But we can’t limit the time frame in which we allow God to work. His promises are clear, He will and does heal us spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. But is He limited to only healing here on earth? I think what we have done is put God’s healing into separate categories. We separate healing into the here on earth healing and then the healing we get when we die. What I saw was that it is not separate things. If He heals us here or in heaven it is still healing. There is not a huge difference. This is so simple but yet so mind boggling to me.
Suddenly, I was free. Free to boldly say that God is going to heal me. Free to pray and believe His promises. I know He will perform His word. I will be healed and healthy, whether here or there.
I am so excited about this that suddenly I am not worried about whether or not I have some lymphoma or not. It doesn’t matter. I know that I am healed and I am now in a place of understanding that I was not in before. It sounds crazy but I am just not worried about it. There are things I don’t know. I don’t know what God’s plan is. I don’t know if He is going to heal me this side of heaven or that side. But it really doesn’t matter! He will do just what He said He would do, and I can rest in His plan for me. It is going to be good. He is a good God and my good Father. I can trust Him. I am asking Him to heal me and believing that I am. Now I know that I am not in a ditch. I am resting in His plan and purpose for me.