Monday, September 13, 2010

Who's Business Is It, Anyway?

I am taking a bit of time-out on my kitchen project posts to have a bit of a rant.

I was talking to a friend the other day about things going on in her life and in the life of some of her family. She was sharing how they were dealing with a tough situation but getting through it. She made the comment that many people had made rude comments about the decisions they were making. "Oh, I just can't believe you are considering that!"

I think so many people don't realize how rude they are when they hand out life advice. Now, just to be clear here, I think there is a time for speaking the truth to a friend when they are in an immoral situation, or headed for real trouble. Gently, and clearly. (Not that I have always been the best at that....=P) A true friend speaks the truth and sticks by their friend no matter what, even in the dirty stuff.

The situation my friend was dealing with was sensitive. But there were no immoral actions to be reprimanded for. The descions being made were just not the descions that everyone else thought they should make. And yet, people act like it is a moral issue.

Like I said above, I think a lot of people just don't realize how rude and hurtful those type of advice/comments are. Everything from pushy advice on how many kids you shouldn't have, or, when are you going to have some kids, to what color you should or shouldn't paint your kitchen, or what type of hairstyle you should have, etc, etc, etc. People just seem to say what they think and think they can figure out in an instant all kinds of important life decisions for you. Amazing talent.

I think, rather, I am sure that I have been guilty of this same transgression. I have lots of opinions on how people could edit and rearrange their lives. Plenty of times I think I am right about it, too. =D But really, whose business is it? Do I answer to God for them? NO. This is something I am personally working on, to not be too apt to hand out free life-consultant advice.

Being asked is different. If asked, if you are really asking, then some freely given advice/info/opinion is appropriate. I have some friends who I am close enough with that know they can speak into my life. And they don't have to ask me every time they do. I appreciate those friends, immensely. If I am asked, I will share what I see/my opinion with a friend.

Okay, done with the rant. We hope you enjoyed this Monday's edition of Opinions With Nichola. We now resume your usual programming. =D
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