Revelation # 2
It has taken a while for me to write about this but here at last is the other big thing God ministered to me when I was first told the doctors thought that I had lymphoma.
I had a hard time that first day thinking about what my family and friends were going to go through when they heard about this. I knew that it would be hard on them and I didn’t want to see that. I was starting to stress about what they were going to have to deal with.
God helped me out. He reminded me of how I believe that He got me through rough stuff in my life. And how that I know that He used the trials and all to strengthen me, grow me and enlarge my vision. That was easy for me to acknowledge. I know that He has done all that and that I am who I am today because of His love and grace getting me through each obstacle.
Then He asked me the question, how could I believe that He was big enough to work in my life and take care of me in the rough times but not trust Him to take care of the ones I love in the tough times? How could I look at the stuff in others lives and think that they would be better off if it wasn’t taking place? How can I think that God is not using things in their lives to strengthen and grow them? Would I stop the work of God in their lives?
These were very big questions. As I pondered what He was showing me in asking those questions, I realized how carnal and earthly my mindset had been. Basically it boiled down to that I wanted to be in control. I wanted to control the things that others had to deal with. I wanted to be in God’s position.
I repented and let it go. I do not want to see hard things come into the life of my children, family and friends. But I have to let God be God and let Him work in their lives the way that He sees fit. He is working in their lives, just as He is in mine. He has good plans for them and I can trust that He is taking care of them and let Him do His job. :-)
It has been amazing the difference that letting Him have it has made in my life. I am not worried about it any more. I know that He has a plan and a purpose and is going to work it out in a powerful way.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
No Wheelies
I'm home!
We had a good trip to Oregon/Washington. We had to come back sooner than planned, but had a good time anyway. I felt so good while up there. I had so much energy while I was up there it was amazing! God is really doing something in my body; I was going up and down stairs and even sprinted a few times with no problem. 3 weeks ago that was a total impossibility. It feels so good to be more myself.
I did have to stay in the hospital for 2 days when we got back. Not because I was sick or anything but because I had to have some tests run and a medi-port put in.
It was really funny. I walked into the hospital and checked in. Then the lady at the desk says, “Okay, hold on just a second and I’ll get you a chair and take you upstairs.” She meant a wheelchair! I said that I could walk, no problem. “I’m sure you could but I have to take you up”
So, incredulous, I sat down and off we went. It was downright hilarious. I couldn’t help but ask her if I should look really sad and sick as we passed people. I also wondered about wheelies. She wasn’t allowed to do that. *Sigh*
She took me to my room and there was a nurse getting my bed ready. The girl pushing me got me as close to the bed as possible. I asked if they were going to lift me onto the bed too. Fortunately, they didn’t have to do that. :-)
I got changed into the official hospital garb. A really stylish, high fashion outfit. :-) Pretty soon another wheelchair came for me, this time pushed by a young black guy. I was just getting situated and another chair showed up! (I was supposed to have two tests from two different departments done and they both sent for me at the same time.) They worked it out and off I went with the first guy. I thought it was worth asking him about wheelies. Same answer, although, I think if I had really worked on him he might have done a little one.
He took me to have my sonogram done on my kidney. My CT scan had showed that my right kidney was swollen because a lymph node was swollen and pushing on the tube that goes from my kidney to my bladder. The concern was that it might get shut off completely. So, my doctor ordered a sonogram to see what needed to be done. He was thinking maybe a stint should be put in or something like that.
So I had that done and then was wheeled off to have an echocardiogram. (Which for those who don’t know is simply a sonogram of the heart.) The girl asked me if I thought I could walk into the room. Could I walk? I jumped out of the chair so fast I think she kind of shocked. Jokingly I told her that I could race her down the hall and win. It was obviously not the normal response from a patient!
The guy that pushed me back to my room wouldn't do a wheelie either.But I think he would have been even easier to get to do one. He asked me if I minded going by the front part of the hospital, it would be a faster route to get back to my room. I didn’t mind, if he didn’t mind me slobbering and acting crazy. He didn’t, but I am not a good actress and couldn’t do it! :-)
My doctor came in the next day and told us the results of those two tests. The echocardiogram was normal, as expected. And as for the sonogram of my kidney, it was normal! The doctor said that it was probably an overreaction by the radiology doctors. I disagreed. I asked my doctor if he had seen my CT scan. He hadn’t, he was just going on the printed results of it. I saw my CT scan and I could see the right kidney was swollen. I told my doctor that I had seen it and with my untrained eye I could see the swelling. I told the doctor that I had gotten better, and he said it appeared so. I know so. I know God healed me. Lymph nodes were swollen, pushing on that tube. The only explanation is that the nodes went down.
I am really very excited. The lymph nodes in my neck that were big have gone down a lot. I can still feel them but can’t see them. And the ones in my groin have gone down a bit too. I know that God is doing something big. I know that He is healing me. Thank you all for your prayers. Keep praying and expect a miracle.
We had a good trip to Oregon/Washington. We had to come back sooner than planned, but had a good time anyway. I felt so good while up there. I had so much energy while I was up there it was amazing! God is really doing something in my body; I was going up and down stairs and even sprinted a few times with no problem. 3 weeks ago that was a total impossibility. It feels so good to be more myself.
I did have to stay in the hospital for 2 days when we got back. Not because I was sick or anything but because I had to have some tests run and a medi-port put in.
It was really funny. I walked into the hospital and checked in. Then the lady at the desk says, “Okay, hold on just a second and I’ll get you a chair and take you upstairs.” She meant a wheelchair! I said that I could walk, no problem. “I’m sure you could but I have to take you up”
So, incredulous, I sat down and off we went. It was downright hilarious. I couldn’t help but ask her if I should look really sad and sick as we passed people. I also wondered about wheelies. She wasn’t allowed to do that. *Sigh*
She took me to my room and there was a nurse getting my bed ready. The girl pushing me got me as close to the bed as possible. I asked if they were going to lift me onto the bed too. Fortunately, they didn’t have to do that. :-)
I got changed into the official hospital garb. A really stylish, high fashion outfit. :-) Pretty soon another wheelchair came for me, this time pushed by a young black guy. I was just getting situated and another chair showed up! (I was supposed to have two tests from two different departments done and they both sent for me at the same time.) They worked it out and off I went with the first guy. I thought it was worth asking him about wheelies. Same answer, although, I think if I had really worked on him he might have done a little one.
He took me to have my sonogram done on my kidney. My CT scan had showed that my right kidney was swollen because a lymph node was swollen and pushing on the tube that goes from my kidney to my bladder. The concern was that it might get shut off completely. So, my doctor ordered a sonogram to see what needed to be done. He was thinking maybe a stint should be put in or something like that.
So I had that done and then was wheeled off to have an echocardiogram. (Which for those who don’t know is simply a sonogram of the heart.) The girl asked me if I thought I could walk into the room. Could I walk? I jumped out of the chair so fast I think she kind of shocked. Jokingly I told her that I could race her down the hall and win. It was obviously not the normal response from a patient!
The guy that pushed me back to my room wouldn't do a wheelie either.But I think he would have been even easier to get to do one. He asked me if I minded going by the front part of the hospital, it would be a faster route to get back to my room. I didn’t mind, if he didn’t mind me slobbering and acting crazy. He didn’t, but I am not a good actress and couldn’t do it! :-)
My doctor came in the next day and told us the results of those two tests. The echocardiogram was normal, as expected. And as for the sonogram of my kidney, it was normal! The doctor said that it was probably an overreaction by the radiology doctors. I disagreed. I asked my doctor if he had seen my CT scan. He hadn’t, he was just going on the printed results of it. I saw my CT scan and I could see the right kidney was swollen. I told my doctor that I had seen it and with my untrained eye I could see the swelling. I told the doctor that I had gotten better, and he said it appeared so. I know so. I know God healed me. Lymph nodes were swollen, pushing on that tube. The only explanation is that the nodes went down.
I am really very excited. The lymph nodes in my neck that were big have gone down a lot. I can still feel them but can’t see them. And the ones in my groin have gone down a bit too. I know that God is doing something big. I know that He is healing me. Thank you all for your prayers. Keep praying and expect a miracle.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity, Jig...
Home
We flew home last night and I have a doctor's appointment at 2 pm in Abilene today. Yeah, no fun but then again, no big deal. I'm not worried about it. I think David's sister is going to go with us also.
Be praying for us. We have many descions to make in a short amount of time. I don't have time to go into everything right now. Please just be praying for us. :-) I'll get to more details soon and Revelation #2.
Gotta get ready to go!
We flew home last night and I have a doctor's appointment at 2 pm in Abilene today. Yeah, no fun but then again, no big deal. I'm not worried about it. I think David's sister is going to go with us also.
Be praying for us. We have many descions to make in a short amount of time. I don't have time to go into everything right now. Please just be praying for us. :-) I'll get to more details soon and Revelation #2.
Gotta get ready to go!
Friday, September 16, 2005
Hello From Oregon!
Hello everyone! Yes, I am on vacation, but couldn't resist posting, in fact, I ask you all to continue to keep me in your prayers.
We found out what the biopsy results were and therfore know more about what kind of cancer we are dealing with.
Anaplastic lymphoma is what I am fighting. It is a high grade, aggressive non-Hodgkins lymphoma. From what I understand it responds well to treatment. It is in stage 3, which is pretty advanced.
Be in prayer for us, we may need to cut our vacation short to get back and start treatments soon. We will find out Monday if we need to do that. I am not ready to go home, but it is in God's hands.
On another note, we have had so much fun so far. Being back in the Northwest has been great. I am loving getting to see the mountians and all the evergreens. I still don't want to live here, but am glad that I am getting to visit.
We are at David's cousin's right now. I am posting from their computer, on broadband. Yeah, I could get really jealous. :-) It is fun.
We found out what the biopsy results were and therfore know more about what kind of cancer we are dealing with.
Anaplastic lymphoma is what I am fighting. It is a high grade, aggressive non-Hodgkins lymphoma. From what I understand it responds well to treatment. It is in stage 3, which is pretty advanced.
Be in prayer for us, we may need to cut our vacation short to get back and start treatments soon. We will find out Monday if we need to do that. I am not ready to go home, but it is in God's hands.
On another note, we have had so much fun so far. Being back in the Northwest has been great. I am loving getting to see the mountians and all the evergreens. I still don't want to live here, but am glad that I am getting to visit.
We are at David's cousin's right now. I am posting from their computer, on broadband. Yeah, I could get really jealous. :-) It is fun.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Revelation # 1
I want to write about what God has shown me during this time about healing. There are two major things He has shown me and helped me with since I was told that I might have lymphoma and I would like to share them here.
When I first started dealing with the swollen lymph nodes in my leg, I had the thought that God might show me something about healing in this. The longer I had the problem the more I thought that. In fact, around the time of my first CT scan I told David that I felt that God was going to fix my mindset and perspective on healing. I just had a strong sense of that. Sure enough, that was His plan.
I grew up under some of the word of faith teachings. While I believe that God does honor His word and there are great and precious promises in His word, I saw an abuse of the word and a mindset that was dangerous. In the teaching on healing, I had seen teaching that said that if you claim scriptures, have faith, get rid of sin and hang onto your healing that you will be healed. These teachings are found in scripture. But the problem I had was seeing this applied in a way that said that God HAD to perform just how we prayed if you did everything right. And what about the people that we prayed for that didn’t get healed?
What I had seen was a twisting of God’s word, a ditch, if you will. And also fears of praying God’s will in a situation, doing so was really anti-faith. When you try to figure out what God’s will is and then hold Him to it, there are bound to be times that you don’t quite see the whole plan. When God does something else it can lead to major frustration and even turning on God. I have seen this in my family and others.
Especially after I got married, God started showing me how faulty my view of Him was. This teaching fell into the category of the wrong view of God, who He is, what He does and how He operates. I didn’t give up on healing. I knew that was true.
I did have a hard time with knowing what to do and what to think about healing and praying for healing. I didn’t want to get back into that ditch. And many times praying scriptures for healing seemed like getting into that ditch.
It was right after the doctor told us that they were suspecting a lymphoma that God blew the top off of this festering issue and showed me His truth. It is so simple I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.
What He showed me was that I have been looking at the issue of healing through tunnel vision. Looking through just a small hole and therefore seeing only part of the picture it was hard to see what God’s truth on healing was. When I saw the full picture, I was amazed and in awe of His truth.
This is what He showed me. God does heal us. Here on earth we can pray, lay hands on the sick, believe and pray His word concerning healing. He will heal us. But we can’t limit the time frame in which we allow God to work. His promises are clear, He will and does heal us spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. But is He limited to only healing here on earth? I think what we have done is put God’s healing into separate categories. We separate healing into the here on earth healing and then the healing we get when we die. What I saw was that it is not separate things. If He heals us here or in heaven it is still healing. There is not a huge difference. This is so simple but yet so mind boggling to me.
Suddenly, I was free. Free to boldly say that God is going to heal me. Free to pray and believe His promises. I know He will perform His word. I will be healed and healthy, whether here or there.
I am so excited about this that suddenly I am not worried about whether or not I have some lymphoma or not. It doesn’t matter. I know that I am healed and I am now in a place of understanding that I was not in before. It sounds crazy but I am just not worried about it. There are things I don’t know. I don’t know what God’s plan is. I don’t know if He is going to heal me this side of heaven or that side. But it really doesn’t matter! He will do just what He said He would do, and I can rest in His plan for me. It is going to be good. He is a good God and my good Father. I can trust Him. I am asking Him to heal me and believing that I am. Now I know that I am not in a ditch. I am resting in His plan and purpose for me.
When I first started dealing with the swollen lymph nodes in my leg, I had the thought that God might show me something about healing in this. The longer I had the problem the more I thought that. In fact, around the time of my first CT scan I told David that I felt that God was going to fix my mindset and perspective on healing. I just had a strong sense of that. Sure enough, that was His plan.
I grew up under some of the word of faith teachings. While I believe that God does honor His word and there are great and precious promises in His word, I saw an abuse of the word and a mindset that was dangerous. In the teaching on healing, I had seen teaching that said that if you claim scriptures, have faith, get rid of sin and hang onto your healing that you will be healed. These teachings are found in scripture. But the problem I had was seeing this applied in a way that said that God HAD to perform just how we prayed if you did everything right. And what about the people that we prayed for that didn’t get healed?
What I had seen was a twisting of God’s word, a ditch, if you will. And also fears of praying God’s will in a situation, doing so was really anti-faith. When you try to figure out what God’s will is and then hold Him to it, there are bound to be times that you don’t quite see the whole plan. When God does something else it can lead to major frustration and even turning on God. I have seen this in my family and others.
Especially after I got married, God started showing me how faulty my view of Him was. This teaching fell into the category of the wrong view of God, who He is, what He does and how He operates. I didn’t give up on healing. I knew that was true.
I did have a hard time with knowing what to do and what to think about healing and praying for healing. I didn’t want to get back into that ditch. And many times praying scriptures for healing seemed like getting into that ditch.
It was right after the doctor told us that they were suspecting a lymphoma that God blew the top off of this festering issue and showed me His truth. It is so simple I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.
What He showed me was that I have been looking at the issue of healing through tunnel vision. Looking through just a small hole and therefore seeing only part of the picture it was hard to see what God’s truth on healing was. When I saw the full picture, I was amazed and in awe of His truth.
This is what He showed me. God does heal us. Here on earth we can pray, lay hands on the sick, believe and pray His word concerning healing. He will heal us. But we can’t limit the time frame in which we allow God to work. His promises are clear, He will and does heal us spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. But is He limited to only healing here on earth? I think what we have done is put God’s healing into separate categories. We separate healing into the here on earth healing and then the healing we get when we die. What I saw was that it is not separate things. If He heals us here or in heaven it is still healing. There is not a huge difference. This is so simple but yet so mind boggling to me.
Suddenly, I was free. Free to boldly say that God is going to heal me. Free to pray and believe His promises. I know He will perform His word. I will be healed and healthy, whether here or there.
I am so excited about this that suddenly I am not worried about whether or not I have some lymphoma or not. It doesn’t matter. I know that I am healed and I am now in a place of understanding that I was not in before. It sounds crazy but I am just not worried about it. There are things I don’t know. I don’t know what God’s plan is. I don’t know if He is going to heal me this side of heaven or that side. But it really doesn’t matter! He will do just what He said He would do, and I can rest in His plan for me. It is going to be good. He is a good God and my good Father. I can trust Him. I am asking Him to heal me and believing that I am. Now I know that I am not in a ditch. I am resting in His plan and purpose for me.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
If You Are Reading...
I am curious. If you are reading my blog or you just happen to be reading it, would you leave me a comment and just tell me you are reading? I am just curious if people are reading. I get a few comments sometimes but it is hard to tell how many, if any are reading.
So, leave a comment!
So, leave a comment!
Bloody Thumb
I was talking to David about doctors or something and he told me the following hilarious story.
One of his aunt's sisters was a hysterical type and was really hysterical when one of her kids would get hurt. One day her son injured his thumb some way and it was bleeding. She hit the panic button. She wrapped his thumb, threw him in the car and rushed to the emergency room. Finally, the doctor came in. The mother told him what had happened and how awful it was, etc. Slowly and carefully the doctor unwrapped the bandage, which was obviously bloody. He finally got down to the injured thumb. Carefully he exaimined it but could find nothing wrong with it. "This thumb is not hurt at all," he said. The mother was still in a state of hysterics and didn't believe him. The little boy said, "No, this one is," and held up the other thumb. On the was to the hospital he had unwrapped the injured thumb and rewrapped the other one. The doctor was not impressed with either of the two. The wound was really pretty minor anyway.
I bet that doctor never forgot that though. Carefully unwrapping a bloody bandage only to find a perfectly well limb underneath! :-)
One of his aunt's sisters was a hysterical type and was really hysterical when one of her kids would get hurt. One day her son injured his thumb some way and it was bleeding. She hit the panic button. She wrapped his thumb, threw him in the car and rushed to the emergency room. Finally, the doctor came in. The mother told him what had happened and how awful it was, etc. Slowly and carefully the doctor unwrapped the bandage, which was obviously bloody. He finally got down to the injured thumb. Carefully he exaimined it but could find nothing wrong with it. "This thumb is not hurt at all," he said. The mother was still in a state of hysterics and didn't believe him. The little boy said, "No, this one is," and held up the other thumb. On the was to the hospital he had unwrapped the injured thumb and rewrapped the other one. The doctor was not impressed with either of the two. The wound was really pretty minor anyway.
I bet that doctor never forgot that though. Carefully unwrapping a bloody bandage only to find a perfectly well limb underneath! :-)
Friday, September 09, 2005
Results....
I called the doctors office and asked if they had anything back on my biopsy yet. They did. They had been told today that they had sent it out to another lab and would get results back Wednsday or Thursday.
Just thought I would post and let you all know that we don't know anything yet! :-)
Just thought I would post and let you all know that we don't know anything yet! :-)
Thursday, September 08, 2005
New Experiences
Wow
I survived my first surgery yesterday. It was quite an experience. I never thought that I would have any kind of surgery. But let me back up.
I went in for my appointment Tuesday with the surgeon that was to do a biopsy on my lymph nodes. I also found out the results of my last CT scan. The scan showed that there are lymph nodes swollen all over in my abdomen. In fact one is swollen and pushing a bit on where my kidney drains and so my right kidney is a bit swollen. I got to see my scan, and that was interesting. I guess not many people have ever seen their own guts, but I have now. J The doctor was really nice and just explained and showed me everything and answered all my questions.
Basically the scan led them to believe even more that this is some type of lymphoma. They scheduled me for a biopsy the next day. That was weird to think about. The surgeon decided to take a biopsy of a node that was swollen on my neck. He thought it would be easier to get to and easier on me.
So, Wednesday at 7:00am we went in and I started on another journey of totally new experiences. First, I was given a hospital gown and a sack to put all my stuff into. Everything but panties and socks needed to come off and go in the bag, my nurse instructed me. And unless I was a magician, I would need help getting my gown tied. I guess I achieved magician status ‘cause I tied it all by myself with no problem. J
I was then led to a hospital bed and healthy me got to get up and sit in it, lean back and the nurse even covered my legs with a light blanket. It was weird, I didn’t feel a bit sick but here I am in a hospital bed, getting my temperature taken and getting ready to have an IV put in. The third one in my whole life. It was a strange thing to be happening, but here I was. I kept thinking that this was the time to start freaking out. But God was with me and was keeping me in perfect peace.
I had a really nice nurse; in fact, all the nurses were really nice. I sat in the bed for an hour or so. During that time, the anesthesiologist came and introduced himself to me and asked questions. Then some of the staff that was going to be helping to knock me out came and talked to me. J They were especially impressed with my chart and told me that my chart had, “Extremely healthy” written in it. They said that I was the healthiest person they would see all day. That made me feel good! Then they came and said it was time. So my next new experience was getting to be pushed in a hospital bed! Weeee!
Weird and Spooky! :-)
Then, we went through these metal doors into the operating room. Oh my goodness, this is really it, I was thinking. They wheeled me over to a little bed, about 2 ½ ft wide. I got over onto it and laid down. The girls in there started putting a strap over my legs, hooking me up to a blood pressure machine, gave me an oxygen mask, the whole bit. I was thinking how scary this should or would have been but was just in awe at how peaceful I was. God is awesome. Then the anesthesiologist came in and told me he was going to give me the anesthesia. It was so funny! He was from India and so spoke with a foreign accent. “Okay,” he said, “take some deep breaths. Think about some place you would rather be than here. Imagine yourself there…. Breathe deeply.” I knew that I was about to be going out, but I thought this was hilarious! It was just spooky enough to be funny! I did think about being somewhere else. Oregon! J I started thinking about the mountains and the pine trees in the mountains. Then I felt a fuzzy, foggy feeling and I knew that I was about to go under. My last thought was, “Well, God, here I go.” And off I went.
When I woke up, I was thinking about trees and God. I was groggy and all but I just started talking about how happy I was that God had helped me and wishing that David could be with me. I was just so at peace. I was actually a bit excited feeling, thinking about how God had been so close with me. Pretty soon they moved me to a chair/bed thing and pushed me out to a 2nd recovery room and David came in. I was pretty groggy still and nauseas. They gave me something in my IV for the nausea. I slept some and then finally started getting normal feeling.
I asked David what the incision looked like. He told me it wasn’t too bad, just looked like a bad scratch, like if I had had a run in with a barb wire fence. That was really comforting. J Actually, it looks really good. They made an incision and took one lymph node out and then stitched it up under the skin and glued the top shut. So really it looks pretty good and I don’t think it will leave much of a scar.
The doctor said that he should have the results of the biopsy tomorrow. So, I will update on that when I get the news.
I am just so happy about how it went and how God was with me. I felt His presence with me so strong and felt His peace. I always knew that God was strong and big in our lives, but it is still good to see it. I can boldly say, He will go with you and be with you through anything.
We are still planning to go to Oregon for 2 weeks. The doctor didn't think it would be a problem. Yay! :-)
I survived my first surgery yesterday. It was quite an experience. I never thought that I would have any kind of surgery. But let me back up.
I went in for my appointment Tuesday with the surgeon that was to do a biopsy on my lymph nodes. I also found out the results of my last CT scan. The scan showed that there are lymph nodes swollen all over in my abdomen. In fact one is swollen and pushing a bit on where my kidney drains and so my right kidney is a bit swollen. I got to see my scan, and that was interesting. I guess not many people have ever seen their own guts, but I have now. J The doctor was really nice and just explained and showed me everything and answered all my questions.
Basically the scan led them to believe even more that this is some type of lymphoma. They scheduled me for a biopsy the next day. That was weird to think about. The surgeon decided to take a biopsy of a node that was swollen on my neck. He thought it would be easier to get to and easier on me.
So, Wednesday at 7:00am we went in and I started on another journey of totally new experiences. First, I was given a hospital gown and a sack to put all my stuff into. Everything but panties and socks needed to come off and go in the bag, my nurse instructed me. And unless I was a magician, I would need help getting my gown tied. I guess I achieved magician status ‘cause I tied it all by myself with no problem. J
I was then led to a hospital bed and healthy me got to get up and sit in it, lean back and the nurse even covered my legs with a light blanket. It was weird, I didn’t feel a bit sick but here I am in a hospital bed, getting my temperature taken and getting ready to have an IV put in. The third one in my whole life. It was a strange thing to be happening, but here I was. I kept thinking that this was the time to start freaking out. But God was with me and was keeping me in perfect peace.
I had a really nice nurse; in fact, all the nurses were really nice. I sat in the bed for an hour or so. During that time, the anesthesiologist came and introduced himself to me and asked questions. Then some of the staff that was going to be helping to knock me out came and talked to me. J They were especially impressed with my chart and told me that my chart had, “Extremely healthy” written in it. They said that I was the healthiest person they would see all day. That made me feel good! Then they came and said it was time. So my next new experience was getting to be pushed in a hospital bed! Weeee!
Weird and Spooky! :-)
Then, we went through these metal doors into the operating room. Oh my goodness, this is really it, I was thinking. They wheeled me over to a little bed, about 2 ½ ft wide. I got over onto it and laid down. The girls in there started putting a strap over my legs, hooking me up to a blood pressure machine, gave me an oxygen mask, the whole bit. I was thinking how scary this should or would have been but was just in awe at how peaceful I was. God is awesome. Then the anesthesiologist came in and told me he was going to give me the anesthesia. It was so funny! He was from India and so spoke with a foreign accent. “Okay,” he said, “take some deep breaths. Think about some place you would rather be than here. Imagine yourself there…. Breathe deeply.” I knew that I was about to be going out, but I thought this was hilarious! It was just spooky enough to be funny! I did think about being somewhere else. Oregon! J I started thinking about the mountains and the pine trees in the mountains. Then I felt a fuzzy, foggy feeling and I knew that I was about to go under. My last thought was, “Well, God, here I go.” And off I went.
When I woke up, I was thinking about trees and God. I was groggy and all but I just started talking about how happy I was that God had helped me and wishing that David could be with me. I was just so at peace. I was actually a bit excited feeling, thinking about how God had been so close with me. Pretty soon they moved me to a chair/bed thing and pushed me out to a 2nd recovery room and David came in. I was pretty groggy still and nauseas. They gave me something in my IV for the nausea. I slept some and then finally started getting normal feeling.
I asked David what the incision looked like. He told me it wasn’t too bad, just looked like a bad scratch, like if I had had a run in with a barb wire fence. That was really comforting. J Actually, it looks really good. They made an incision and took one lymph node out and then stitched it up under the skin and glued the top shut. So really it looks pretty good and I don’t think it will leave much of a scar.
The doctor said that he should have the results of the biopsy tomorrow. So, I will update on that when I get the news.
I am just so happy about how it went and how God was with me. I felt His presence with me so strong and felt His peace. I always knew that God was strong and big in our lives, but it is still good to see it. I can boldly say, He will go with you and be with you through anything.
We are still planning to go to Oregon for 2 weeks. The doctor didn't think it would be a problem. Yay! :-)
Monday, September 05, 2005
Prayer Please
I have posted some here about what I have been dealing with lately physically but thought I would write the whole thing out so that anyone who is interested can see the whole thing in one post. There have been some new developments and anyone who reads this, I covet your prayers.
This is actually a copy of part of an email that I sent my aunt a few days ago.
"A few day after I had Sarah I started running a low fever and had a lump on my leg/groin area. I also had some back pain. My midwife came back and looked at my groin and thought it really looked like swollen lymph nodes. She sent me in to have it looked at. The NP I went to looked at my groin and said that it was a strained ligament in my leg, probably from carrying the baby. Nothing to worry about. The back pain was from having the baby and the fever was probably a urinary tract infection. She gave me some antibiotics and that was that. Well, I did get to feeling better some, but the lump was still there. And the fever left for a while maybe. Then I started getting tired again and fever came back, just a really low fever. Like, 98.9-100.2. Once it was 101. Very low. So I called the NP back and told her the deal. She thought I had a uterine infection then and over the phone told me she would just call in some antibiotics and see if that cleared it up. She did, I took them and while I was on the antibiotic, the lump on my groin/leg, turned red. Now, when I had had that come up to start with, my midwife kept asking me, "Is it red," "Is it red at all," "Can you see any redness", and then looked herself. There was no red. When it did turn red, however, I knew it was a danger sign, partly because of my midwife being so concerned about that. (Btw, my midwife is an RN too.) I called the NP. She was not able to look at me, she was going to be out of pocket, but said that I was probably going to need a DNC cause I had a uterine infection and probably needed to go to someone else. Which we did as soon as we could get in. I went to a different NP who worked with a doctor. She gave me a pelvic exam, (which the other lady never did), took cultures and all to send off, but said that she didn't think I had any problem. When she saw the lump on my groin her eyes got a bit wide. She said she was sure that it was swollen lymph nodes and wanted to get busy treating that immediately. She got the doctor to look at it just to be sure. He was sure, more than sure. I asked him what could have caused them to swell up. He told me what didn't cause it, and that was the birth of or carrying the baby. He said none of the female stuff is dealt with through those nodes.So, Glenda, the other NP missed it. Bad. Cause this really is something to be taking care of. She told me many times, cause I kept asking, that it was not a big deal. Looking back, she just didn't take enough time with me. She didn't even give me a pelvic exam, and I had just had a baby when I saw her. I saw the contrast loud and clear when I went to see Marilyn, the one in Abilene. Her nurse talked to me for several minutes about my medical history, symptoms, etc and then Marilyn talked to me herself for about 15 min before ever even looking at me. That let me know right off that this was a whole different deal. And I was glad. And Glenda just assumed that she could take care of what was going on. I thought that she would refer me to a doctor if the need was there. Marilyn on the other hand has been checking very carefully it seems with the doctor she works with. She has asked him about everything she does.
I wasn't glad that they put me on some pretty nasty antibiotics that I couldn't nurse Sarah while taking. But it needed to be taken care of. Marilyn was very serious about it. I went back in a week and the redness was gone, but the swelling wasn't down much. She didn't like it and gave me more antibiotics and also said that she would like me to get a CT scan. She told me to let her know if I had any more fever or anything like that. The day after I saw her I had fever. I called her and told her and she wanted me to get in quickly and get the CT scan done. That was Thursday. I called Friday to try to schedule one and got in that day because someone cancelled. So we scrambled to Abilene and got that done. (Which was no fun, by the way. I don't recommend the drink they give you before you have it done. Mine tasted like old, ten year old Country Time lemonade that was really, really bad. Nasty doesn't even come close.)
They called us Wed. and had us come in and tell us the results of the scan. They said that they were suspecting lymphoma of some kind. Possibly Mono, but really not thinking that was a high chance. So, they wanted me to get a full CT scan yesterday and more specific blood tests. So we did that yesterday and I see a surgeon Tuesday. We don't know the results of the new scan yet but will early Tuesday. They did tell us that we will probably need to do a biopsy of the swollen nodes. There is now also one on my neck swollen a bit.
And that is where we are now. Either way, I know I am okay. God is taking care of me and I am going to be fine no matter what.
Oh, and btw I remember that lump being there while I was pregnant. It was sore but I thought that it was just from the baby. I did think it was swollen once but then thought it was my imagination. And it was not much swollen, just a bit, so minute that it was hard to tell. I never mentioned it to my midwife since I didn't think it was anything. :-( So this has probably been there for about 6 months."
I go in tormorrow for an appointment with a surgeon about a biopsy and to find out the results of the other scan. I will update you all then.
I have been learning so much during this time and have so much to share, it is really exciting. God has done a lot in my life during this time and I feel like I have grown 10 feet spiritually. It is so awesome.
Friday, September 02, 2005
If you want to help in a really practical way
This is an awesome example of people willing to help in really practical ways. People are opening their homes to victims of the hurricane or offering to help support people in housing. If you feel called to help, here is a really hands-on way to do it and have a long term impact on someone's life.
I plan to post some more on this subject later.
I plan to post some more on this subject later.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
World's oldest person dies aged 115 - Europe - MSNBC.com
World's oldest person dies aged 115 This caught my eye. Herring. I've heard a lot of different things that will keep you going strong. What are the ones you all have heard?
Monday, August 29, 2005
Thoughts On Books
Dr. Laura
I was listening to a CD I got from Focus on the Family in which Dr. Dobson did an interview with Dr. Laura Schlessingler. She was talking about her book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I would like to read this book. She says many of the same things that Debi Pearl says in her book, "Created to be His Help Meet." It was very encouraging and interesting to listen to.
Something that I have been thinking about on this issue of husbands and wives is how universial the principles are. When a wife treats her husband right, whether either one of them are Christian or not, the marriage is strengthened and has a much higher chance of success. In the case of Dr. Laura, her book has been mostly read by non-christians. The ones that have embraced her advice have seen dramatic changes in their lives. You can get the CD or a cassette of the interview. Like I told my husband, getting more than one person's perspective on the same subject is very good. Dr. Laura comes from the perspective of one that has had the worldly mindsets and had some very interesting arguments on the feminist agenda that were more than just quoting the bible and sounding like a weak-minded woman that has been brainwashed. (Her audience is mostly non-christian and the things she says speaks to them in their world.) She has some very good things to say about men and women and what the differences are. She is not a Christian but I think she has some very good things to say on the issue that are very helpful.
CT Scan
The clinic didn't have my test results from the hospital yet yesterday. Maybe today?
I was listening to a CD I got from Focus on the Family in which Dr. Dobson did an interview with Dr. Laura Schlessingler. She was talking about her book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I would like to read this book. She says many of the same things that Debi Pearl says in her book, "Created to be His Help Meet." It was very encouraging and interesting to listen to.
Something that I have been thinking about on this issue of husbands and wives is how universial the principles are. When a wife treats her husband right, whether either one of them are Christian or not, the marriage is strengthened and has a much higher chance of success. In the case of Dr. Laura, her book has been mostly read by non-christians. The ones that have embraced her advice have seen dramatic changes in their lives. You can get the CD or a cassette of the interview. Like I told my husband, getting more than one person's perspective on the same subject is very good. Dr. Laura comes from the perspective of one that has had the worldly mindsets and had some very interesting arguments on the feminist agenda that were more than just quoting the bible and sounding like a weak-minded woman that has been brainwashed. (Her audience is mostly non-christian and the things she says speaks to them in their world.) She has some very good things to say about men and women and what the differences are. She is not a Christian but I think she has some very good things to say on the issue that are very helpful.
CT Scan
The clinic didn't have my test results from the hospital yet yesterday. Maybe today?
Morning Musings
Hurricane Katrina
Wow. I have been reading news stories about Katrina this morning. My husband woke me up to show me the radar picture of Katrina. Scary doesn't quite describe the feeling you get when you look at that storm. From what I understand, some of the places around New Orleans could be simply wiped off the map from a storm like this. Wouldn't that be weird? To leave your home and come back and the place where it was is totally gone? Even the land it had been standing on? I can't imagine it.
Erin and Rene, are you are seeing some of the evacuees down there? One news story said that there was a river of headlights streaming away from the storm and into Texas.
CT Scan
Hopefully today I will find out the results of my CT scan. And I hope I don't have to go in, it is an hour drive and gas is so high. Sigh. We will do what we have to do.
Picture
I am trying to get a picture of my posted to my profile. I'm having to figure it out and it is going to take me a bit.
In the meantime, here is one of me making bread just before I got pregnant with my youngest.
Wow. I have been reading news stories about Katrina this morning. My husband woke me up to show me the radar picture of Katrina. Scary doesn't quite describe the feeling you get when you look at that storm. From what I understand, some of the places around New Orleans could be simply wiped off the map from a storm like this. Wouldn't that be weird? To leave your home and come back and the place where it was is totally gone? Even the land it had been standing on? I can't imagine it.
Erin and Rene, are you are seeing some of the evacuees down there? One news story said that there was a river of headlights streaming away from the storm and into Texas.
CT Scan
Hopefully today I will find out the results of my CT scan. And I hope I don't have to go in, it is an hour drive and gas is so high. Sigh. We will do what we have to do.
Picture
I am trying to get a picture of my posted to my profile. I'm having to figure it out and it is going to take me a bit.
In the meantime, here is one of me making bread just before I got pregnant with my youngest.
My husband says it looks like a Crisco advertizment! LOL!
Sunday, August 28, 2005
New Orleans Braces for Powerful Hurricane - Los Angeles Times
Click here if you want to know about the storm tonight. I guess this will all be different in the morning. Lord, be with LA.
CT Scan And Other Fun Stuff
Well, Friday I went in and had a CT scan. Yay. If any of you have ever had one you know what I mean. The scan itself wasn't too bad, but getting ready for it was not something I want to repeat. I had to drink an iodine drink. It looked like powdered lemonade drink and tasted like 10 year old powdered lemonade that had gone really bad. I had 4 big strofoam cups of it to drink. I did okay on the first one, but halfway through the second one I started feeling sick. I had to drink them pretty much all at once. I got 3 down and they told me I could take the other one with me and come back in an hour. I tried, I really did. But I couldn't get the last bit down. When I got back I asked the nurse if I had to finish it. She told me to go ahead and dump it out. For my test it would be okay, but usually I would have to get it down. YUCK!!! And then I had to have an IV while I had the CT scan.
I don't know the results yet but probably will tomorrow.
I got my schedule worked out yesterday, or most of it that is. David gave me some good advice to use this time to get my schedule all written down. So I got busy working on that. I have some more fine tuning to do and then will post it here.
It is not very long until time for us to leave on our trip. I am so glad that I have been learning not to get so worked up about the little stuff 'cause there is a lot that I am not going to get done it looks like before I go. I wanted to be able to get the house back in order and leave with a spotless house. This would be reasonable and I may still get it done, but if I can't I can't and I am not going to worry about it.
I am really looking forward to going. I have a hard time believing that we are really going to go. It just seems so far out there that we could really get on a plane and go to Oregon/Washington! It is going to be so exciting.
I don't know the results yet but probably will tomorrow.
I got my schedule worked out yesterday, or most of it that is. David gave me some good advice to use this time to get my schedule all written down. So I got busy working on that. I have some more fine tuning to do and then will post it here.
It is not very long until time for us to leave on our trip. I am so glad that I have been learning not to get so worked up about the little stuff 'cause there is a lot that I am not going to get done it looks like before I go. I wanted to be able to get the house back in order and leave with a spotless house. This would be reasonable and I may still get it done, but if I can't I can't and I am not going to worry about it.
I am really looking forward to going. I have a hard time believing that we are really going to go. It just seems so far out there that we could really get on a plane and go to Oregon/Washington! It is going to be so exciting.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Some Stuff About My Buttons
I have some new buttons on the side of my blog, and I thought I would let everyone know about them.
Ix-webhosting
This is an excellent company in my opinion. We have our business website hosted by Ix-webhosting and we have been very satisfied. We never have had it be down during the time we have been with them. The features are great and the prices unbeatable.
ClubMom
This seems like a good thing so far. You basically recieve points for stuff you buy online through them from major companies, like Avon, Old Navy, etc. You can then redeem your points for fun, free stuff. There is a lot that I have not checked out yet that looks like it would be good. And best of all, I have not so far recieved any junk email from signing up with them. :-)
Sub with Bloglines
This is a cool site. I found this through a comment that was left on Rene's blog. Basically you set up an account, for free, and then add blogs that you want to look at and keep up with, and it does all on one page. I am really enjoying it. I still go to the blogs that I like to read, but sometimes I don't have time to go look at them all, waiting for pages to load. With Bloglines I can just look at them all and see if there is anything new and if it is something I want to read at the moment. Very handy. I think it could have a lot of value for those of us with not much time that can get lost in computer-land reading blogs.
Ix-webhosting
This is an excellent company in my opinion. We have our business website hosted by Ix-webhosting and we have been very satisfied. We never have had it be down during the time we have been with them. The features are great and the prices unbeatable.
ClubMom
This seems like a good thing so far. You basically recieve points for stuff you buy online through them from major companies, like Avon, Old Navy, etc. You can then redeem your points for fun, free stuff. There is a lot that I have not checked out yet that looks like it would be good. And best of all, I have not so far recieved any junk email from signing up with them. :-)
Sub with Bloglines
This is a cool site. I found this through a comment that was left on Rene's blog. Basically you set up an account, for free, and then add blogs that you want to look at and keep up with, and it does all on one page. I am really enjoying it. I still go to the blogs that I like to read, but sometimes I don't have time to go look at them all, waiting for pages to load. With Bloglines I can just look at them all and see if there is anything new and if it is something I want to read at the moment. Very handy. I think it could have a lot of value for those of us with not much time that can get lost in computer-land reading blogs.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Yesterday...
I had an appointment with the doctor yesterday. Yay. I'm back on yucky antibiotics since the lymph nodes were not down as much as she thought they should be. Really, they are not down much, just that nasty infection is gone. So, it's back to being drained by Levaquin. I do not like this stuff. I don't like it one bit.
While we were in Abilene yesterday we had fun, though. We stopped and ate with some friends after my appointment and that was fun. We had a really good time.
Also, we have been thinking about our up coming trip. We did go ahead and get the double stroller we wanted. It was free shipping and so I shipped it to my grandma's and will be ready and waiting when we get there. We were thinking about getting a single then to push Keilah in, but weren't sure. The cheapest one at Wal-Mart was $20, and $20 is $20 when you are trying to pinch pennies. So, we were driving down the street and I saw one in front of a second-hand store. I looked it over and although it had been in the weather and wasn't the prettiest stroller I had ever seen, it did look good. It was a Graco, which is the brand that the other one is. It looked even better when I asked the guy the price. A stroller for $12 instead of $20, yeah, that sounds good to me! We tried it out at the mall. It worked great. And while we were there, we found shoes for the kids, and so the $6 we saved went for shoes. A very good trade in my opinion.
The funny thing was, you know how when you go shopping and get some something that you have been really wanting or needing and you come home with this happy "I got some new....fill in the blank?" That was what I came home like yesterday, but I didn't get anything! I tried on some shoes that I really needed and we got the kids some shoes, but I didn't get anything. So last night and today I have to keep reminding myself that I didn't get new shoes, although I feel like I did! And I am thrilled to pieces with my second-hand stroller. Go figure!
We had a funny episode last night in Wal-Mart. We were in Wal-Mart shopping and David was telling me about something that somone at church had said. We got pretty engrossed in our conversation and all of a sudden I realized what we were doing. I could help but laugh at us. We were standing by the formula, clogging the whole aisle, talking like we hadn't seen each other for a week or more. And then we walked around the rest of the time in Wal-Mart discussing stuff. My husband is home more than any guy I know and we talk about stuff all the time. Why we needed to block people from getting formula for us to get to talk, I don't know!
Anyway, just some random thoughts and ramblings for you!
While we were in Abilene yesterday we had fun, though. We stopped and ate with some friends after my appointment and that was fun. We had a really good time.
Also, we have been thinking about our up coming trip. We did go ahead and get the double stroller we wanted. It was free shipping and so I shipped it to my grandma's and will be ready and waiting when we get there. We were thinking about getting a single then to push Keilah in, but weren't sure. The cheapest one at Wal-Mart was $20, and $20 is $20 when you are trying to pinch pennies. So, we were driving down the street and I saw one in front of a second-hand store. I looked it over and although it had been in the weather and wasn't the prettiest stroller I had ever seen, it did look good. It was a Graco, which is the brand that the other one is. It looked even better when I asked the guy the price. A stroller for $12 instead of $20, yeah, that sounds good to me! We tried it out at the mall. It worked great. And while we were there, we found shoes for the kids, and so the $6 we saved went for shoes. A very good trade in my opinion.
The funny thing was, you know how when you go shopping and get some something that you have been really wanting or needing and you come home with this happy "I got some new....fill in the blank?" That was what I came home like yesterday, but I didn't get anything! I tried on some shoes that I really needed and we got the kids some shoes, but I didn't get anything. So last night and today I have to keep reminding myself that I didn't get new shoes, although I feel like I did! And I am thrilled to pieces with my second-hand stroller. Go figure!
We had a funny episode last night in Wal-Mart. We were in Wal-Mart shopping and David was telling me about something that somone at church had said. We got pretty engrossed in our conversation and all of a sudden I realized what we were doing. I could help but laugh at us. We were standing by the formula, clogging the whole aisle, talking like we hadn't seen each other for a week or more. And then we walked around the rest of the time in Wal-Mart discussing stuff. My husband is home more than any guy I know and we talk about stuff all the time. Why we needed to block people from getting formula for us to get to talk, I don't know!
Anyway, just some random thoughts and ramblings for you!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Not doing anything real?
I was reading something on a friend's blog the other day and something she was saying reminded me of something I went through about a 2 years ago.
You moms know how this is. You work all day, 24/7 really, and pour your self into your home, husband and children. You love what you do, but there is something that says that you are not really doing anything. So and so is going to college, somebody else is building a career in a cool field, another someone is working and helping out with the income, really doing something. Somehow you are not really doing something big or real but maybe someday....
I had dealt with some of this myself and it was hard sometimes to see that I was really doing something. Then I got this phone call. It was one of those telemarketers that want to ask you all kinds of info so that they can give you some great deal. I don't remember now what it was she was wanting, but she started asking questions about our business. Was my husband the owner, how many employees did we have, etc. Then she said, "And ma'am, was is your position in the business." I was a bit taken off guard. "Uh, my position...?" Then the humor hit me. "Well, I'm the diaper changer, secretary, I answer the phone, do the laundry, cook meals, clean the house, pay the bills, work in the greenhouse, I'm in marketing...." By now the lady on the phone was laughing. "Okay, ma'am, I understand. Just tell me one to write down...." After I hung up, I got to thinking about it.
What if I were to look at everything I do all day, and night, and look at it as a profession? I started thinking of what I do from a corporate standpoint.
I'm on call 24/7 with no days off. I must be able to not only take care of all that needs to be done, but also decide when to do it. It a split second I can be thrust into a situation that demands fast reaction and seeing what needs to be done for a small child to avoid injury or to take care of an injury. I must make sure that there is food supplies ready to be fixed, and am in charge of getting them. To properly manage this job, I must be able to see needs and find ways to meet them, in the house, the family and any other area that could spring up at anytime. I also must help run the business that makes the income to be able to take care of the home and people in it. I have to attend to throw up at any hour, day or night, and any other sickness or problem that might arise. Also, the daily maintenence of the house in are such as laundry, dishes and general cleanup falls to me and my department. The list is too long and if I got it all down, there would be more to add at some point as it is an industry that is always changing and flexibility is key.
Now, how much would you have to pay someone to do a job like this, if you could find someone to hire? It would be upwards of $150-$200 an hour, with raises and benefits of course. The turnover rate would be huge.
So, I finally got down to this: I am doing something. I am in a profession that few would be brave enough to be in. If I were to be paid to do what I do it would be a huge amount and I would be stinking rich in no time. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in 3 months would be 324,000 at $150 an hour. In a year it would be 1,314,000. And there would be few expenses out of that since you would be living on site and eating meals at work. If that is not a good income, I don't know what is! I realized that I am really doing something worth while, even if I'm not getting paid cash to do it. Really, I don't think I could do the job I just described. But for my family I can, and what I do no one else can do for my family.
So, when you think about not getting to something real, think and ask yourself if most of the women you know could do what you are doing? You are doing something real and are not insignificant at all.
Well, I'm off to earn the big bucks!
You moms know how this is. You work all day, 24/7 really, and pour your self into your home, husband and children. You love what you do, but there is something that says that you are not really doing anything. So and so is going to college, somebody else is building a career in a cool field, another someone is working and helping out with the income, really doing something. Somehow you are not really doing something big or real but maybe someday....
I had dealt with some of this myself and it was hard sometimes to see that I was really doing something. Then I got this phone call. It was one of those telemarketers that want to ask you all kinds of info so that they can give you some great deal. I don't remember now what it was she was wanting, but she started asking questions about our business. Was my husband the owner, how many employees did we have, etc. Then she said, "And ma'am, was is your position in the business." I was a bit taken off guard. "Uh, my position...?" Then the humor hit me. "Well, I'm the diaper changer, secretary, I answer the phone, do the laundry, cook meals, clean the house, pay the bills, work in the greenhouse, I'm in marketing...." By now the lady on the phone was laughing. "Okay, ma'am, I understand. Just tell me one to write down...." After I hung up, I got to thinking about it.
What if I were to look at everything I do all day, and night, and look at it as a profession? I started thinking of what I do from a corporate standpoint.
I'm on call 24/7 with no days off. I must be able to not only take care of all that needs to be done, but also decide when to do it. It a split second I can be thrust into a situation that demands fast reaction and seeing what needs to be done for a small child to avoid injury or to take care of an injury. I must make sure that there is food supplies ready to be fixed, and am in charge of getting them. To properly manage this job, I must be able to see needs and find ways to meet them, in the house, the family and any other area that could spring up at anytime. I also must help run the business that makes the income to be able to take care of the home and people in it. I have to attend to throw up at any hour, day or night, and any other sickness or problem that might arise. Also, the daily maintenence of the house in are such as laundry, dishes and general cleanup falls to me and my department. The list is too long and if I got it all down, there would be more to add at some point as it is an industry that is always changing and flexibility is key.
Now, how much would you have to pay someone to do a job like this, if you could find someone to hire? It would be upwards of $150-$200 an hour, with raises and benefits of course. The turnover rate would be huge.
So, I finally got down to this: I am doing something. I am in a profession that few would be brave enough to be in. If I were to be paid to do what I do it would be a huge amount and I would be stinking rich in no time. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in 3 months would be 324,000 at $150 an hour. In a year it would be 1,314,000. And there would be few expenses out of that since you would be living on site and eating meals at work. If that is not a good income, I don't know what is! I realized that I am really doing something worth while, even if I'm not getting paid cash to do it. Really, I don't think I could do the job I just described. But for my family I can, and what I do no one else can do for my family.
So, when you think about not getting to something real, think and ask yourself if most of the women you know could do what you are doing? You are doing something real and are not insignificant at all.
Well, I'm off to earn the big bucks!
Oh Boy...
This is a post I wrote on my livejournal and I thought maybe someone would like to see it. It is hilarious, don't read unless you are really ready for a good laugh. :-)
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